Er, hi.

I could add a comment here about how long its been since the last post, but I am sure you know how that goes by now. As usual I completely forgot this thing existed and when I occasionally thought "hmm, maybe I should write something..." when something interesting happened then I had a new problem - "Ooh better not put that, someone might see!"

Haha! Yeah I am getting a bit worried about prospective employers and other people who hold my career and paychecks in their hand disagreeing with some of my opinions (and possibly my complaining loudly about colleagues and my job) so I have decided to keep schtum just in case.

So what is different from July?... Hmm.

I am sure practically everything but its sort of hard to know when it has been so long! One thing I definitely have to mention is that I plan on buying myself a christmas present this year : )

I meant to get it last year, but money was a little tighter and so the money I got for christmas went in to the bank because I felt guilty about spending it! But this year? Oh nononononono![Churchill face]

Despite the fact that we are in the beginnings of a recession, and that by the end of my uni years I am supposed to be super broke, I actually have more money now than I have ever had! Not even counting the money from parents for tuition fees, all my hours at Mcwork and my general tight fistedness means I had enough money to live on for the year in September! In fact I completely forgot that Mr Brown is very kindly giving me £3000 this year! As a result I am having driving lessons now, have been on 3 holidays this year (on a shoestring naturally - I do have Yorkshire and Scottish blood), and have developed a taste for sushi and Sakushi - the local japanese sushi bar. My bank balance is still going up. A lot!

I think its time I got myself a treat : D

and so...

"Errr. Its a little keyboard with a lamp on it."

Noooo! It is TEH KOOLZ! It is called a Microkorg and it is awesome. A little synth, complete with vocoder (voice changing capabilities) and look at all the twiddly knobs on it! Squeeee!

I have actually wanted one of these for years, I love the technical geekery of keyboards anyway. I have to be the only person in the world that bothered to use the synth feature on my trusty old Casio WK1800. While others were round town blagging their way into clubs and discovering the interesting things you can do with solvents I was fine tuning the decay envelope of tone T202. No I wasn't somebody with a whole lot of street cred in my school...

Anyhoo I have developed a bit of a taste for electronica in recent months. Ladytron are a great band that I ended up going to see live at the new Carling Academy (The old Roxy Disco) in the city centre. In the words of Simon Cowell, they had the charisma "of an onion". Luckily their songs are awesome and being electronic, their songs are best heard live when the dirty low waves make your chest cavity vibrate - you can quite literally feel electronic music. I can't wait to be doing the same with my groovy little Korg. I should start thinking about names...

I am also totally obsessed with Robyn's most recent album. Its been over a year since I have bought any music, let alone an album which probably says a lot about how much I wanted it! I haven't been this into an artist for a long time so its great to feel enthusiastic about music again. Also, her haircut is ice cold.

Speaking of which - my hair is currently cosmic blue! Its not nearly as blue as it sounds, in fact its more black with a blue rinse, I can assure you that the dye itself is very blue. I dyed the bath, the tiles and myself blue for several days. Hell when I was rinsing the stuff about of my hair, it left blue streaks all the way down me where the runoff had been! At least it covers the pink from Megan's hair history....

Well despite the brevity of the this post I had better go. It is 9pm, I am in the library after a long day selling burgers, it is nearly christmas and for once I need to stop being such a bookworm.

Hopefully I can write something more around christmas, but I had better not make any promises...

Post 100!

This should be a momentous occasion but is actually an afterthought. In any case, it all started in this blog back in 2005 when I was a wee lass of just 17... Yes I know I am only 20 now, but it seems like an absolute age ago. A lot has changed since then, and I hope I have changed too. I am sure I have, but it is so had to tell when the change is gradual...

When I started this post is was partly out of the want to write something, and partly because of good old fashioned peer pressure as two of my uni friends are starting up their own (genuinely interesting and vaguely themed) blogs. Bella is already up and running, and will surely have lots to say about her year in Deutchland. I on the other hand feel woefully inadequate with my occasional posts complaining about work and babbling about things that are most likely unimportant to anyone but me....

But lets press on anyway! This was a blog set up specifically for me to waffle and vent in so I shall waffle and vent on!

I have to say when I clicked on "write new post" underneath the line saying "99 posts" I felt completely lost for what to write about. In my short ramble however, I decided that like an old sitcom with a run of 26 episodes and a budget for 25, I should go with recycling old stuff, and have a little look at what has changed since that fateful day in November 2005.

I don't know what exactly compelled me to start up this blog on that day, but I do know that I felt like I had a lot going on in my life at the time. It was that funny time during your later teenage years when you suddenly have this bombardment of both knowledge about the real world and your first real responsibilities. I felt I had a lot to talk about, what with suddenly being aware of everything from politics and the workings of society, to interacting with adults properly for the first time and having a 'real' job.

I really was quite angry about all sorts of things wasn't I? Although I do sometimes feel strongly about moral and political issues now, I do think I have mellowed in how ideological I am. Like my parents always said I would, I am now much more in the centre ground - politically wise and don't immediately jump to liberal extremes when it comes to an issue.

I guess where I stand upon issues and decisions about life and beyond has become a real theme in the past few years which have helped me to realise things about my personality. I guess the more you examine and explore yourself, the more you see through the 'hats' you put on and distinguish between your true nature and that which you present to other people for various reasons.

I guess what I have really learnt from all of the exploration of morals, opinions and questions is that it is OK not to have a strong opinion. There is no need to pick a 'side' and stick to your guns, defending your position to the end. To say that I have always felt I am rather good at empathising and seeing all sides of an argument, it took me a long time to realise this. Perhaps it is the fact that I cannot stand to be wrong that made me take so long.

Whereas before when asked a big question I would leap to the side of freedom or liberalism and argue my position until one of us was shot down in flames, I am now much happier to say "Hmm, well I am not sure its quite difficult isn't it..." I guess its kind of a way of acknowledging that it is OK to hold your hands up and say 'I don't know'.

It has been said that to know that you know nothing is the first step towards enlightenment. While I don't think I can aim quite that high yet, it is strangely satisfying to live in a world that is almost entirely gray and not criss cross with harsh and divisive black and white lines. In many ways then, I guess I am more accepting of every bodies views now and so maybe, I am a little better at empathy? We'll see I guess.

Perhaps one of the biggest U turns of opinion I have had is on that of McDonalds. What started as hatred and barely contained rage for the company and the store that I worked at has now turned into a kind of acceptance of the place that is actually now quite pleasant to work at. It certainly helps that McDonalds has really cleaned its act up - making the food healthier and better quality, stocking free range and organic dairy products, supporting local produce and even becoming one of the greener retailers out there today. Apart from that, it doesn't hurt that I work at a damn good store with staff that I actually have plenty in common with.

To be honest, I don't really have any beef with the company at all anymore, instead of a quiet sort of grudging feeling, knowing that despite all my past scorn, the company has saved my bacon on more than one occasion.

Of course one of the other big things that has changed is my career path. When I began this blog, I was going to be a journalist or die trying. Everything I did at school and many of the things I did out were all geared towards giving me the biggest boost I could manage into the journo game.

Now nearly 3 years later, after getting what I wanted - a place at Sheffield Uni on their prestigious Journo course, I realise that journalism probably isn't for me. It's not I can't do it, more that I can't do it without seeming to have to put more effort in to it than most people - not in a physical or academic way, but in a motivational way. Nearly every other journo on my course is on the student newspaper, or has got something published on a website or local paper, or has had some amazing work experience, or maybe just hates journalism and is trying to avoid all of these things at all costs. I on the other hand would like to do these things, but don't really have the motivation and confidence to just throw myself out these and do this stuff.

It's not even that I wish I could do it but can't, but I do not have any burning desire to do so. I think about all the places that are available for work experience and am not really enthusiastic about any of them.

I love the learning, the acquiring of skills and the simulated news gathering and production, but when it comes to the real deal, I just don't really feel like I have any sort of passion. It is this and the fact that I will be paid a pittance to work on the Nowheresville Weekly for a few years before I even start advancing my career that makes me think: "Well actually there are so many other things I could do..."

So that's it basically and I plumed for PR after investigating what else was open to me with my qualifications.

Challenge - Check
A different day at work every day - Check
Capacity for individual flair and input - Check
Promotion based on merit - Check
Ability to input creativity into tasks - Check
A salary that you can actually live on - Check

It is everything that journalism is, but slightly easier to get into, better paid and I actually really want to do it. Sorted then. Well until the stress of job hunting...

What else has changed then?...

Well for one thing I have tested many of my limits in these three years (and incidentally learned that all figures under 11 should be written as whole words - thanks Tony Harcup!). So many of them just basic things - How long can you get by on four hours sleep before it gets too much? How much is too much alcohol? Do you really need a sleep pattern? Can you get away with cooking a three course meal without ever having attempted the recipes before? What happens if you stand amongst the smoke of people getting stoned? Do people think you are weird if you try to start a conversation in the bus queue? Is it lonely to live on your own? How long can you stay awake? Is that thing really as unpleasant/painful as it looks?

The great thing about uni is that in a place full of people with the same questions, who like you have never had the chance to answer them before without the social constraints of family and people with expectations about your behaviour before. Uni is all learning - in the lecture theatre and out. As many students will say (although many of them for reasons involving intoxicating substances...) the actual university course is a small part of the university life. Its sort of like being on a plane for the first time: the ride is so very exciting because everything is brand new. You know you are there for a reason - you are going somewhere - but somehow, at the time, the ride becomes more important than the place you are going. And those lectures from the air hostesses are just a necessity.

That analogy sounded much better in my head, but I am sure you get the drift...

So where to from now? Well I have one more year to go at Uni before the big bad world and it looks like it is going to be an interesting one. I have to spend a lot of time getting my CV well padded out and spending a lot of time working off my own bat instead of working to millions of deadlines as I grapple with a dissertation and at least 2 other semester long assignments. With my cramming tendencies, neigh, impulses, this could be one of the greatest tests yet...

Hope that was worthy of post 100 and that it wasn't too self absorbed!

As much as I would like to continue writing, it is starting to get light. Not a good sign before you have gone to bed...

Thanks to all of those that for one reason or another have read this blog. It's a great comfort to know that you can all read this and still see me as the same person, inside and out.

Here's to the next 100!

^_^

Only 5 months since my last post. An improvement. Just.

So yeah. In the end I gave in my notice and spent a week avoiding people saying "Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!?"

On my second to last shift Gavin appeared looking as insanely cheerful as ever. "Lottieeeeeeee! Just the person I was wanting to speak to. Catch you on your break. I'm not letting you get away that easy!"

Oh buggeration.

Gavin had been extra fab and considerate since hiring me when I was in dire need of a job. The last person I want to explain that I have had enough of burgers and being demeaned by half-wit customers, was him. I was adamant at that point that I wanted to leave. I didn't have enough time to do anything at the weekend, I already had enough money and I just wanted to work somewhere different before I had to get a real job someday.

The man drives a hard bargain though.

He proclaimed exuberantly that he would "bend over backwards" to have me stay and probed every reason why I wanted to leave. I mentioned that I thought it was a good idea to get some other experience of work to enhance my CV. Then, something extrordinary happened...

--------------------------------------------

"I can enhance your CV beyond your wildest dreams!!"

"..."

"I know the editor of The Star and I am sure I can get you some work experience when I tell him what a wonderful person you are!"

"..." [Good but I can already get that through Uni]

"... and I can get you experience in the PR department. I know the regional head of communications and I am sure she would be happy for you to shadow her.

"..." [Oooh. Interesting]

"...and I have connections in the Council. I am sure they would have you too."

"Oooh"

"So. Have any fixed shift you like. If you want three weeks off or whatever just say 'Gavin I want three weeks off' ....... Your still going to say no arent you?"

"Well..."

-------------------------------------

So I stayed. How could I not? I now basically work when I want and am due some work experience at easter. Kerching! : )

Since then I have looked in to PR and I actually am very interested. Interested to the point where it actually looks a lot better than Journaism... In fact I have decided to pursue a career in PR instead of Journo!

To be honest the prospects of Journo had been weighing on my mind for some months. I still do like the idea of being a journalist, but am not as prepared to do all the crud I need to do before I get to where I want to be as before.

If I leave and somehow manage to get a job on a local paper (fairly tricky in itself), I will earn £13000 for 2 years until I have the chance to get my NCE (proffesional qualification). Now the NCE is notoriously difficult. Only 40% of people pass! This, although possible would require me to get my 100WPM in Shorthand which would take a real gruelling slog to do. In the event that I somehow managed all of this I would recieve a pay rise of around £3000 a year.

£16000 a year after 5 years of training? Where I would go from there would depend on getting noticed, but mostly luck and making connections in high places.

Do I want to be a respected journalist who breaks groundbreaking stories ?= yes
Do I want to be put through all that for a slim chance of it? = no

Of course if the PR doesn't work out then I might give it a go, but I am not sure I have enough determination to succeed in such a cut throat business anymore. Meh.

Now then. PR is also very competative and cut throat but there are a wealth of jobs out there. Everyone from biscuit factories to Councils have PR departments. With journalistic training and knowledge about Media and copyright law and politics, I am sure that I could do well.

I have looked at what sort of jobs I could get on leaving. Starting as a junior PR hack I would Earn around £13000 again, but would get the chartered status in 1 or 2 years! This would quickly bump up my salary to something you could realistically live off and get a mortgage with. Phew.

As much as I am a champion of "It doesn't matter about the money so long as you can live on it if you enjoy your work", I do not want to live in a mouldy old bedsit on the outskirts of London for the rest of my life as is likely if I take up Journo.

The stupidest twist in this story is that aside from giving me the money to live on for my first and second years at Uni and getting me vital work experience, McDonalds may AGAIN save my bacon and change my life with their graduate training scheme. They have a fab training scheme based in Machester where the very office where I should hopefully get work experience trains you for a year and pays you £13000 for your trouble. Essentially it is a year in industry after my degree. If I could get on the scheme then that would have me made as a junior PR exec. Hooray!!

Ah McDonalds. Hate or Love you, you always seem to save the day. Bah.

Anyway, back to the present.
Know where I am right now?

On a big rock.
Overlooking a stunning sunset across the whole of the west side of Sheffield and the surrounding rolling valleys. The valley is all misty and mysterious. Thinking about it, I think the distant hills are the Peak District. Very pretty they are too.

It really is very beautiful.

I decided to come here today because it was such a lovely day with blue sky and lots of sunshine. It looks like spring is here already from all the flowers that have come up and insects getting in my cous cous and on the lappytop screen. Squee!

This place is in a really random spot. Just the other side of Crookes road where Tapton is and just the around the corner from Veronica Hardstaff who I interviewed last year. None of the other students seem to know that this place exists. Nice really cos it means the only people here are dog walkers and the occasional school child shouting "Mummy! Why has that lady on the rock got a computer?" To be fair its not only children giving me funny looks.

But never mind! It is very worth it : )

I am used to getting stares in my general direction now since
A) I wear a skirt and heels to court and bus drivers pass by every few minutes
and
B) I go places with Megan and THE hair

Megan has been trying to get red hair for ages. I have personally dyed her hair 3 times various shades of purple and red with results varying from brown with a hint of purple to blonde streaks. Therefore when we had a nosy round the local Blue Banana [goth shop] clone "Rocky Horrors" she spent an unnerving amount of time looking at the super luminous colours behind the counter.

Well. She bought the stuff. 2 Packs of bleach and power bleach and a pot of "tulip" colour ( "Colour may vary at the manufacturers discretion. Do not apply to eyebrows. Risk of Blindness" etc ). From the samples the colour was red with a hint of fuschia. Very nice.

Thursday night after Meg's last exam and before the appointed end-of-exam bash outing to Fuzz, it seemed only appropriate that we were to do the deed then.

Out comes the bleach and powder. When mixed it looks blue. Hmm. I tentatively put it on hoping that it will turn just the right shade of blonde like the tester. Halfway though.

"Ooooooh it itches!"
"Don't worry not long left."
"How long?"
"........50 minutes"
"Oh Fuck."

Somehow she endured the itchyness and I watched her hair go from a dark brown root with reddyness from the previous dying.. to something not a million miles off Gewn Stefani. With red streaks.

Time to wash it out. The result is pretty startling. The once brunette Meggle is now a bimbo. She attempts to comb her hair but it is incredibly knotted. She looks worried. I insist on taking a photo of her blonde and try to get ther to go out like that. She has better judgement however.

On to the redness!

The stuff is so easy to apply and really takes to her hair (and face and ears). The paste looks a little pinker than was hoped but then the orange-red dye I used to use started out purple. So what do I know?

Time to wash to gunk off. Woah. This is some ultra colour. Good job she does physics. Its looking really pink.

Time to dry the hair. This will inevitably make it brighter as all hair is darker when wet. God. What is this going to turn out like?

Done.

Holy Guacemole.

Megans hair is positively neon in its hot pinkness.

"WOW!" Rachel comes down from her room
Lizzie giggles and says "Oh my God!"
Indeed.

The hair goes down a storm and but attracts surprisingly little attention from the Fuzzters. Probably because its dark, but maybe because they are all SO ALT3RN4TIVE DOODZ.

Since then randomers keep on talking to her. Within 5 minutes when she was stood outside of McDonalds 2 people talked to her. One to ask her where the local rock club is and another to ask for a light. Yep. Sounds like she looks like a proper physicist!

n.b. Here is a demonstrative photo. Looking directly at the hair may damage retinas.



Well. My hands are like ice it is getting really freezing (and a little dark) so I guess I had better get home. Hopefully the next post will only be in 4 months time...

Must.......write................stuff.......

Hello again.

Sorry it took so long for me to actually get back into actually writing something but at first I had nothing to write about....then I had one or two boring things.....then I had LOADS but couldn't be bothered....then I had left it so long I felt I should have a reason for writing something and decided to wait for one....then I completely forgot about this blogs existence....

You know how it is. Maybe.

Anyhoo. I thought I would make a bit of an effort and have a bit of a clearout of the right hand bar of all the slightly-naff-but-was-once-amusing stuff. You now have the privilege of browsing a few tasty morsels of randomness and geekery hand picked from the dark murky underworld of nerds. I spoil you : )

So....
A lot has happened since my last proper posts in which I didn't really say that much about life in general at all so heres a superfast [ha as if I could do concise!] breeze over what has been going on:

• I finished finished the year and did my exams. Got a 2:1 overall woo! Even passed the NCTJ Politics tests : 0 No sign of a shorthand qualification yet though : (
• Moved out of Tapton back to sunny Donny with the intention of getting a job for the summer so I actually had money for this year.
• Nobody wanted a worker just for the summer. I was reduced to crawling back to the old dungeon of misery and torture but even they didn't want a summer worker. The cheek! I even passed Dean on the way in but strangely he had legged it by the time I turned around. I guess he is still a bit awkward about the shortlived datingness...
• Decided that as I had an empty house sat waiting in Le Sheff (a house! MY house! Ooooooooh!) I may as well make use of it and look for a job there. There had to be a job in an entire city. Surely....
• After the initial headache of sorting out bills and getting used to living on me lonesome I bombarded the place with CVs and applications.
• I even handed in a CV to the high Street McDonalds. Well I had to earn some pennies somewhere. What if nowhere else would have me?
• 15 mins later whilst I was just about to harass KFC I get a phone call...

------------------------------------------

Man: "Hiya is that Charlotte?"

Me: "Yes..."

Man: "I'm Gavin from McDonalds High Street. I am VERY impressed. I just phoned up your old store and they said you were brilliant and I should definitely hire you. Where are you?"

Me: "Erm. Just down the road at KFC."

Man: "Fabulous! Do you fancy coming back for a chat?"

Me: "......Yeah sure I'll be there in 5 mins"

Man: "Fantastic! See you soon!"

----------------------------------------------

This guy was unbelievably enthusiastic and cheerful. How could I say no to a chat? More to the point, how did the place of hell get even more unrealistically pleasant about me than before? Oh well can't complain : ) Off I went...

5 minutes later I had a job with as many hours as I wanted for the hols and a job in term time to fit around my timetable. AND the people seemed really nice and mature, AND they all seemed to be enjoying what they were doing, AND everything looked in working order and in a reasonable state of cleanliness. Wow.

• Started work and things were just like I hoped. Everybody worked hard, the equipment was fab, there was no drivethrough (Woooo!) to stress about and I actually got the hours I requested and no random ones during days off. Dare I say it, I actually enjoyed work some days or at least didn't mind going in.
• It finally dawned on me that actually the company is a good one. Yeah so you get payed minimum wage but you do get flexible hours and good training if you actually work at a decent [i.e. not franchise as in place of hell] store. Turns out Gavin used to work at that place and the first thing he said was: "God that place is a shithole! It was the worst time of my life! Its full of twats and chavs!" So glad it wasn't just me then. I had also realised by this point that Gavin is genuinely a flamboyantly enthusiastic and happy person.

Example:

Scene: A quiet crew room with 5 staff members softly munching their burgers....

*BANG* - Door flies open

Gavin marches in, slaps Alan round the back of the head, grabs Azad's hat, throws it at the floor, stamps on it then charges into the boys staff toilet.

*pause*

Gavin: "FUCKING HELL! What have you been doing in here??"

Alan: (mumbling) dunno

Gavin: "You are dirty bastards aren't you. I don't know you are a bunch of scrubbers.... Fucking hell...."

Gavin makes for the door, turns

Gavin: "See you later darlings!!!!!"

*BANG*

Exits

Gavin is a dude.

• So I worked 5 or 6 shifts a week till term came around again earning plenty of wonga. Suddenly I had as much money as I had before I started Uni. Wooooo!
• Uni this year is pretty cool. So far its all been Law [101 ways to write things, be annoying to the judge and not get sued], broadcast [101 ways to get ignored by the general public in the street] and.... French.
• It is quite odd to be doing French again but it is quite satisfying. After all half of the people at work are overseas students or just full time workers from some exotic places [China, Zimbabwe, Ghana, India, Turkey, Iran, Yemen, Portugal and er, Ireland] and so speaking just one language makes you feel rather ignorant. All being well, by the end of the year I should be A level standard in French. Yay!

Well I think that about sums up what has been going on.

Right now things have just started to get up to speed in terms of actually having a reasonable amount of things to do. Tomorrow for example I have to go out at 9.30 with a marantz [groovy reporters mic and recording thingummie] and do a vox pop which basically is getting loads of peoples opinions on tape.

I was going to do that this morning but I felt a bit rough and so put it off till today. It took me ages to come up with a decent subject - "Halloween, frightfully dull or a bit of fun? Are you trick-or-treating tonight or are you hiding indoors?" Ad infinitum. Of course I realised on the way back from my lecture that tomorrow this is hardly current and worthy of comment. Hopefully I can ask the question in the past tense and edit it together as the present :s

I did try and do my voxpop at the beginning of last week however finding a place to grab people for a second was nigh on impossible. The shopping area was already dotted with preachers, salespeople, big issue sellers, buskers and the like so getting a decent spot that was a fair distance away from any of these people and not near a road or that bloody trumpet player was tricky. I eventually found the perfect spot only to see Brett and Lesley from Journo move into it.

I tried to grab a few people and got a handful although they didn't comment on anything. Apparently nobody is bothered (least of all the black lady I asked) that the police have been told to actively target young black boys to stop and search last week. Well I guess I got an answer to my question. Unfortunately apathy does not lend itself well to being edited into a 3 minute package for radio.

Such is the way of Journos I suppose....

I also got thinking yesterday that maybe I should quit my job. I am just bored of it to be honest. There are only so many times you can clean things in the same order between 4pm and 2am and not go insane. Also it does mean I get less time to study which actually seems to be a concern this year. I have so far been fairly successful in being proactive in studying (wow) and having 1 day a week in which you also have to revise for tomorrow's law test and do the washing hardly allows for quality study time.

On the other hand the hours are handy (although preposterously long) and I am earning a lot at the moment and not feeling really worn out or anything.

On a third (and genetically unlikely hand), If I could get a different job it would inevitably pay more per hour and probably offer normal length shifts and not 10 hour marathons of ajaxing and somehow transplanting all the grease off the machines onto myself.

But will I be able to find another job?

There are certainly a fair few vacancies but will they hire me? Hopefully I will find out. I have drafted my resignation letter and filled in a application form to work at the Union Studio Shop. If I somehow managed to get a job there I would get paid an hour more to serve a handful of customers and look at all the cool stuff for sale, occasionally unpacking a box or two. Sounds amazing.

Well I have enough money to last the year even if I can't find another job so I think I should take the risk. If I hand in my letter on Friday then I will leave on the 18th Nov which means I get my birthday off. Hooray! Done and Done.

Byebye McDonalds!!

Again...

Well I think I have waffled enough for today. Hopefully the next post will be a bit more exciting. I feel I should leave you non students with a fab example of what us yoofs call "randomness"....

Lottie is watching television

L:"Oh my god Patrick Stewart has a moustache!"

Megan: (from the kitchen) "Oh. Cool!"

L: "AND! He's playing a Nintendo DS!"

Megan: "What?!"

L: "WITH JULIE WALTERS!!!!!!!!"

Megan: "OH MY GOD!!!"

(Clattering of pots in the kitchen as Megan abandons the washing up)

L: "Hurry up this is a televisual event!!!"

M: "I'm coming!!....... OH DAMN!"

TV flicks from Patrick and Julie to an advert about tile cleaning

M: I can't believe I missed that! Oh I hope it comes on again...."

I spent 15 minutes this afternoon looking for that advert. I am nerd.

Hahaha! I found an ace game on the nettie entitled "The McDonalds game".

You can find it at http://www.addictinggames.com/mcdonaldsvideogame.html

You have to put hormones in the cow feed, bribe politicians and nutritionalists and give the employees badges when they stop smiling haha! How true to life!








Heehee!

I also have had the excitement of selling my first bit of junk on Ebay today. Rather satisfyingly it was my spare McDonalds hat Murhaha! If they don't ask for it back, its mine to sell to the unnsuspecting public haha! I have just put up my two Mccy D's belts as well. My old cymbals are also currently being bid on. I just hope that the 3 people watching suddenly all have a bidding war in the final few hours as thanks to my poor estimation skills all of my profit is going to be eaten up by the postage. Ah well. Builds me reputation as a seller I guess.

Well. Best get back to work!

In my first post (I think it was my first) I said I would have revenge on Ronald. Well now I have. Haha! Take that corporate clown!

I wrote this entry last night as it was too late to go on the netty but I felt obliged to write something. I guess was in a very pensieve mood to make working at McDonalds into a metaphor of personal growth! God I was a bit gushy wasnt I?

Well even if it is a load of poo it did come from the heart at the time - and how! It is about 2000 words long. My goodness I wrote more in an hour than I managed to write for my English project at AS. :s

Hehe. Well here it is anyways:


I recon today is actually the final day of my childhood.

It just makes so much sense...

Today I have severed the final tie that binds me to the life I have lived here in Doncaster for the past 18 years. I am talking of course about finishing my last shift at my job at McDonalds today. It was a strange shift actually with me having the unusual job of window 2 - the money taking window at which usually only newbies and spare parts are chosen to do the job. I guess that is kind of symbolic of the way of things there. We are all but little seedlings to begin with lost within the great expanse of the earth, thrown in at the deep end with not a clue of what to expect, what to do, what to take in, what to ignore, what to become. We are pointed in the direction of the surface by the more experienced people, but the journey itself is only one you can make on your own.

Every moment you are there you take in tiny details - exactly how many millimetres to move your hand to stab in £20.00 in one swift movement, adding or taking an extra word in to your set customer repertoire for maximum efficiency, trying out new ways in which chunks of information can be recalled in bigger and better ways, figuring out which rules are there to be kept and which are simply formalities. Every little bit of what you do you take in and use and so working there becomes the sum of your experience. We who have done this week in, week out can give the new seedlings pointers but there is so much to take in it is simply not possible to pass your knowledge on and so on my last shift I was assigned something simple to do. Perhaps to allow myself to feel like I have achieved something, to remember how far I have come from the meek and lost little soul I began as.

I don’t think I made a single mistake today - surely a record in itself. I even spotted that a £20 note was fake - something I have never faced before. The shift was strangely easy and quiet for me. Things just looked and felt different somehow. As I saw the tears welling in Kirstie’s eyes I began to wonder why that was. Was it that she was simply frustrated at the things going wrong on the job for her - after all we all get emotional on shift when there is so much pressure and one thing after another goes wrong. I wondered if perhaps she was upset on that level but also because she knew that this is what her life had become, and perhaps what it always would be. After all she is at uni but that so often does not help out the managers at McDonalds and they end up just keeping their jobs where they are. Maybe she was crying for the future, maybe for the present or maybe for the past that she looked back on so fondly. Maybe she just had a moment in which she could see where her life was going, straight down the line, on a train she cant get off if she leaves it much longer.

Maybe it was just something else. I guess I will never know.

What I do know is that the past few weeks have been the most bizarre and extreme of my life. Everybody and everything looks so different as to how it did just 2 months ago. My life is like a new life - like I am on the path to the life I have always wanted, becoming the person I always wanted to be. What does it do to a person when everything a person has ever known - their whole way of life suddenly ends after 16 years? Since the age of 2 at nursery it has all been about learning - understanding, preparation for something bigger - infant school, junior school, secondary school, sixth form, university. Everything is just a step to the next thing. Learn, test, succeed, repeat. It is the life I know and the life I am accustomed to and now that is just not there any more.

They say you don’t grow up till you leave home and I think they are right. How can you know who you are until you have no constraints and no responsibilities to hold back who and what you are? I think that is where I am now.

Its like fate has made the transition for me - as I came towards the end of my school life and had nothing to challenge me, to keep me ticking over from late June to late September, fate saw fit to deal me a helping hand in an ugly disguise. My mother fell ill and suddenly I had so many new challenges to face. For the first time I was the one in control. I truly had the responsibility of others and myself.

My Mum in her illness became dependent on me for the first time which at first I found very shocking and upsetting. Then as my Dad had to go away to work I had to assume responsibility for all the things I had never even had a taste of before. Firstly I was truly responsible for myself for the first time - of course I don’t answer specifically to anybody. My parents have always granted me generous amounts of choice and do not breathe down my neck at all. I do of course have to bear them in mind daily by coming in at a sensible time so as not to disturb them, keeping things in places where they wont get in the way for them, not doing things that would make them worry excessively about me. The moment my Dad left the drive in his car that was gone. I would look after myself and answer only to myself for the first time ever. A liberating thing indeed.

I assumed responsibility for my lovely cats Ollie and Oscar. Suddenly I couldn’t just pet them when I felt like it, I was in the thick of it cleaning up things that before I didn’t have to imagine, dealing with mangled animal corpses, getting up early so that to feed them and let them out and worst of all getting them inside at night, God that was a challenge! You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to get a cat through a door if they didn’t want to come inside. I resorted several times to leaving trails of treats, sleeping in the living room with the patio door open and a sword in my hand just in case or simply grabbing them and taking a good clawing.

The housework was certainly an eye opener but a good one. I now love ironing - there is nothing quite as therapeutic as gently working out the creases in a piece of clothing and thus restoring it to perfection, especially when listening to your favourite songs with the bass on full, rattling your teeth and singing like a banshee!

I guess most importantly I was left in charge of Mum. Of course she can look after herself but I am sure that having me or anybody come and visit her when she was feeling truly terrible must have helped her out. I was now a commuter as well!

In all I actually enjoyed my new lifestyle being a full time housewife, mother to two mischievous little cats and taking care of my Mum. It was really very liberating. I love independence and that was it in its purest form.

I also discovered just how brilliant all of my friends are. They were all so supportive but also stepped back and left me loads of space for me to just do my own thing. Spending so much time with Keith was certainly an eye opener. I really got to know him so much better, like I used to and we are now really great friends again rather than the occasional recro buddies we were becoming.

Man I love all of my friends so much. In fact I just want to thank them all right now!
Tina - you and me can talk about anything in the world and you know that I would climb mountains for you matey! You and me really are two peas from the same pod even if we didn’t realise it before! Peace to you imzadi.

Keith - You are my rock. You always go out of your way to help me and everybody else out and you are so damned funny! You are my 3rd bro! Could anybody else really just end up living at my house for 5 days without us noticing?

Kat - You know me so well you often know me better than myself! You always see through the façade and can tell what I am thinking, which although can be scary you always say exactly what I need to hear. You tell it like it is when nobody else is brave enough but you are never cruel. You give me a metaphorical slap when I need to come down! Thanks for being so honest and so supportive.

Scott - I haven’t known you long, but in this short space I you have been really supportive and a great laugh. You aren’t just Kats boyfriend I consider you one of my close friends and really like spending time with you. Although you sometimes go into more detail than I would like in some areas (heehee), I love your honesty and generosity. Thanks :)

Mike - Don’t you just love the internet? Without it I doubt you and me would be good friends! I know you probably think that our conversations are a bit one directional but that is not true at all. All of the things that worry you worry me too, and by attempting to give you advise you confront my demons . You always listen to what I have to say even when I talk shit. Who else reads my blog regularly! I really value you as a friend as you are always there for me when I need to talk. In fact, by listening to my moans and by reading my blog you probably know a side to me that maybe nobody else does. Thank you :)

Becky - Although you missed a lot of what has happened to me recently, you still have provided me all the support you possibly could. You offer me support in a different way that other people often forget. When things get tough, you always need a sense of normality and some stability. Without this, how could we keep going? I remember when things got tough for you a couple of years back you told me that you just wished people would stop treating you differently and let you keep going and working through your pain and I really empathised with you. Thanks for doing the same for me J you are my oldest friend and so you know me in ways that other people cannot. Thanks for sticking with me all these years :D

I love you all guys so much!

I will stop this sentimentality as it seems like a letter of goodbye and it isn’t. I wont let it be.
To come full circle, I think today was the last day of my childhood as not only have I left my last responsibility outside of my family, my Mum should (fingers crossed) be out of hospital tomorrow to make the rest of her recovery at home and thus that concludes that challenge.
I feel like I have grown up now, that I have life experience. People have commented that I seem more confident, more independent. I feel I have more perspective. I guess it just shows in the little things. I know I certainly surprised a few people at work a couple of weeks ago when I started speaking my mind more and being assertive. I guess when your work is just a small part of your life you treat it as such.

I am ready now for life. Before I thought I could do it. Now I know I can. If I can just keep in this mindset I know that I can go far in my career and achieve everything I want to achieve.

Farewell childhood. You have been a beautiful adventure full of little joys.
Enter life, what shall be an epic journey mine for the shaping…

Lets do it. Lets live.

Here is todays lazy post:

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Lottie/Boylio/Chaz/Excuse me young man
Birthday:	Most years (unless I forget) 26th november
Birthplace:	Sunny sunny Donny
Current Location:	"The office" - really a collection of the crap that wouldnt fit anywhere else
Eye Color:	blue
Hair Color:	At the moment "Red Planet" but naturally dark brown
Height:	5"4 and 3/4 (the 3/4 is very important)
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right handed although as Becky noted, left handed when eating crisps...
Your Heritage:	half English 1/8th Irish 3/8ths Scottish if your being pedantic
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Just me furby slippers today I had a quiet day in :)
Your Weakness:	Jaffa cakes, chocolate, guitars, most things deep fried
Your Fears:	Big sticks, my burglar alarm, big ass spiders that run at me at 1 in the morning
Your Perfect Pizza:	Thin and crispy ham and mushroom mmmmm
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Learn to play the drum fill on "Assassin" by Muse
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	*nods*
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Make the beeping stop! Repeat every 10 minutes
Your Best Physical Feature:	Erm. Eyes I guess, thats what Kat comments on most
Your Bedtime:	These days pick a number lol. Between 11pm and 3am
Your Most Missed Memory:	The days when me and Keith used to run around the playground at primary school hiding from the evil dinnerladies hehe
Pepsi or Coke:	Diet Coke with ice and a slice of lemon
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Well I both hate McDonalds and work there so I guess BK
Single or Group Dates:	Single mostly
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	What the chuff is Nestea?
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Thats not even a choice! Who would pick Vanilla? Tsk
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappuccino although a mocha frappoccino would be ideal
Do you Smoke:	no
Do you Swear:	occasionally
Do you Sing:	Much to the distaste of others :)
Do you Shower Daily:	Yes unless I am really late
Have you Been in Love:	Maybe....
Do you want to go to College:	As in Uni? Yeah
Do you want to get Married:	Just for legal reasons, just a bit of paper really
Do you belive in yourself:	Yeah it scares some people! Quite rightly I would think...
Do you get Motion Sickness:	No
Do you think you are Attractive:	I aint Angelina I aint Jade
Are you a Health Freak:	Hell no I love food too much!
Do you get along with your Parents:	Yeah
Do you like Thunderstorms:	I love them unless they are in the middle of the night and wont let me sleep
Do you play an Instrument:	Yeah Keyboard/piano/drums a bit of guitar/bass/accordion/spoons
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Yes
In the past month have you Smoked:	no
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Just garlic supplements hehe
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	A box of what now?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	No but I really want to try it
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Yes at the gig
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	yes some "Do not use" tape and some toxic sanitiser from work
Ever been Drunk:	Not really just tipsy
Ever been called a Tease:	yes today in fact hehe
Ever been Beaten up:	Nah they would be too scared of my many teeth
Ever Shoplifted:	no
How do you want to Die:	By monkies!
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	An ice cream lady!
What country would you most like to Visit:	Korea (South that is!)
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	brown
Favourite Hair Color:	any
Short or Long Hair:	anything but extremes
Height:	more than 4 feet, less than 8
Weight:	less than the amount it takes to be bulletproof
Best Clothing Style:	Casual
Number of Drugs I have taken:	0
Number of CDs I own:	20 but tond and tons of MP3s
Number of Piercings:	2 (ears)
Number of Tattoos:	0
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Cant really think of anything. I guess thats good!
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

I am sooooooooo melloooooooow...

I have just been searching the net for info on how to hypnotise people after experimenting with Tina this afternoon. She printed some info off the net and had a go at hypnotising me. She certainly made me very relaxed but didnt really do it long enough for me to be hypnotised properly. She tried to get me to ask out Mr GSOH again! Hehe. Hopefully I will do that anyway...

Where was I? Oh yes. Well I was just on the net searching for other tips and instructions when I came across this quiz you could take to find out how susceptible to hypnosis you are. I took the quiz and got a 4 out of 5 which apparently requires high levels of creativity to be. (according to all the quizes taken on "Tickle" I am very creative which is a nice compliment :) ) Anyhoo, I saw a link saying "advanced test" and was intrigued. I clicked on it and discovered that it was a test involving listening to several audio tapes by some American celebrity hypnotist know only as "Wendi". I was a bit apprehensive at first but thought "What the hey" and did it anyway.

It was very..... interesting.

It was in four parts - the first she "put you under" then hypnotised you in to your right hand feeling tingly and warm. Although I didnt feel the warm I did feel the tingle that was a bit wierd...
The second part was to asses your visualisation skills. You had to imagine floating off to this lovely forrest and experiencing through all of the senses your "surroundings". I scored highest on this bit as I could feel the cold water of a creek on my toes and see the path that I was instructed to walk down. It was very relaxing and nice I enjoyed it.

The third part was quite revealing - it involved journeying through the "silky darkness" to a container that I had to visualise and look all the way around. I then had to look inside the box to find a special "object,person, feeling or idea" that would come from my subconscious to tell me something about my deep psyche. I pulled out a thick, gold kind of choker or necklace that I put on and found very heavy around my neck. I figured maybe it symbolises a worry or issue that is currently weighing me down and making things difficult. Perhaps I am reading too much into it but it would make sense as I have the worry of exams and the tension of Mr GSOH to contend with...

If I have done this right then my amusingly poor artists impression of "my box" should be below for you to have a ganza at.



In the final part I was hypnotised so that I couldnt open my eyes - something I initially found rather unimpressive despite the fact that it works as I have experienced that before when experimenting with hypnosis and meditation with Kat and Becky. But then this Wendi woman managed to hypnotise me into not being able to move my right arm and hand despite the fact I was moving my left hand and was staring in wonderment at my imobile right limb. Now that was interesting!

So after all that I am pretty chilled out right now after a quick juant into my subconscious and mind control!

I tried to post a message about how my new catch phrase seems to becoming "You can piss off" (at least mentally). Luckily that slightly mardy post was lost as the Blogger server had problems and refused to post it (how bout that for a sign hehe!).
Well I found myself thinking it again the other day as a particularly awkward customer came into McDonalds. She came in at 10.50am and tried to order a happy meal. I politely informed her that on a Sunday the main menu is not served until 11am. She said nothing and took a pew with her little girl and beau. She came back at 11.05 and ordered a fish finger happy meal. Unfortunately the kitchen had not got any fish ready yet and so I apologised and gave her a drink and tod her that I would bring it over as soon as it was ready. She tutted and returned to her economy sized family in one of those postures that said "bloody idiots all I want is a kids meal".

I was a little put off at this but sympathised with her that she was having a time getting something pretty simple. I kept checking with the kitchen how the fish was doing and assembled the happy meal as soon as it was ready and took it out to the woman. I said something along the lines of "I'm really sorry about your wait, thank you very much". Glancing dwon I saw her filling in one of those customer opinion surveys that nobody ever fills in. I figured she was wound a little tight and let it go.

It wasnt until the end of the day that I got out the card and took it to read in the office as I was being cashed up. She gave a score out of 6 for the service time - 1. A bit harsh but understandable from the customers point of view. She also gave a score out of six for "staff politeness and attitude" she gave me a 1! Hang on a minute! I was sickeningly nice to you and explained why there was a delay at every oint and then you talked to Lesley the lovey DA lady and you gave me and her a 1? Well piss off then! I made myself be nice to you even though you, frankly were being bloody natty with me!

She gave an explanation for her complaint on the customer comments section. She explained that she had come in at 10.50 and been "advised to wait until 11am for the main menu". So far so fair. Then she continued "returned at 11.05am and was told would have to wait another 5 minutes for fish" Well ok that is pretty frustrating but then "when told the food is served a 11am, all food should be ready for this time".

Now hang on a minute.

How exactly is it possible to continue making and serving breakfast until 10.59am and then have the entire main menu ready one minute later? If the entire main menu was to be made it would take more than 10 minutes at full capacity, by which time the first items made would have expired. Therefore we make the items in the order of their popularity, fish being the least popular. I doubt we sell 10 fish happy meals all day so the chances of somebody ordering one between 11 and 11-15am is rather slim. Needless to say she didnt hang around for me to explain this and promptly sodded off with her air head beau leaving nothing but an insulting analysis of my attmepts to please her bloody awkwardness.

Besides. I "informed her" that the breakfast menu started at 11 - something that was quite plain from the massive breakfast signs hanging above my head. Then when breakfast had ended she waited a further 5 minutes before coming to order therefore delaying her reciept of the food by 5 minutes. In effect she only had to wait 5 minutes, the rest was accounted for by her contrary nature and lack of suitable reading glasses.

Am I being the mardy one here? Maybe. But it does really annoy me when people who are coming to the biggest, silliest "restaurant" in the world come in with a face like a bashed crab. What are you doing wasting your apparently precious time by filling in petty scraps of card that nobody takes seriously? Why dont you just crack a smile and take life a bit less seriously? I mean some people think they suddenly own the company and throw a wobbly the first hiccup they meet. Yes, McDonalds aims to please their customers and provide a good service but at the end of the day, it is a company that simply provides a service that you can choose to have as it is or not at all. No amount of kicking and screaming is gonna mean a damn thing. McDonalds is probably the vest company in the world when it comes to efficiency. Every system there is is selected to be that way to please the most amount of people and work best the most time possible. There is no such thing as a flawless system so please, when you are entering a restaurant advertised as being run by a clown, dont throw a paddy and chuck 1s out of 6 at me when I am only trying to do the best I can with what there is. Life is too short love.

Ok. Rant over.

How about a joke...

hmmm

Ok how about this one straight from the oracle that seems to know everything - Wikipedia

A man walked into a pub and talked to his friend:

"I just had a divorce, lawyers are leeching bastards."

A man stood up.

"I object!"

The divorcee asked "What are you a lawyer?"

He replied... "No. I'm a leeching bastard....."

In true Boylio blog stylee I will now attempt to write a very complex blog whilst being incredibly tired after a random gap of a month hehe. I guess sometimes I dont want to do things by halves.

Well I guess the first thing to day is that this is the first blog I have ever written on my .... ahem ... NEW SHINEY LAPTOP WOOOOOO!

Finally a compy to call mine and mine alone. Mmmmmmm...

So what was I going to say? Um I dont really know.

I am sure many things have happened in the last month but I really cant think of anything too interesting right now...

I guess a notable milestone is the fact that i have now been to the pub twice now at quiz nights at the Eden Arms near Tescos. I always promised myself that I wouldnt be a drinker.... well I am not (really). Hehe. I have had no more than 2 drinks each time I have been out and dont intend to have any more. Alcohol is a novelty after all, at least it is to me. Very rarely does alcohol taste really nice, any other soft drink is usually nicer to me, and it effects me quickly - something I dont really enjoy the senstaion of, and yet I drink a little.

I guess it will wear off evebtually.Not drinking could save me a shedload as a student. Isnt it funny how illogical people are. I am not trying to do the I-art-holier-than-thou act because, frankly I am pretty much the same. But how comes people go out to often noisy and unpleasantly smoky pubs to drink overpriced alcohol and eat even more hideously overpriced crisps? When you ask somebody this question (and I sometimes do ask these kind of questions) I usually get looked at funny or get the all purpose response "because its sociable innit" (and once even an inexplicable "grow up" when I asked Gaz at work what the point of football was).

I cannot say that these people are wrong as they do genuinely seem to feel that going to these places that in any other context would be the last place you want to be, are the bee knees. Fair dos, I can understand why people may think htem better but not that much better than having a few quiet ones with your friends in the comfort of your own home where you have the remote and the crisps are not 60p each.

Maybe it is just me. I dont tend to get these things very often.

Ooooh. I think I have found a way to deal with dumbass blokes that come through the drivethrough at night. The other night I was being called over to the window with "Oi!" and "Pssshht". I decided to pretend I didnt hear them as I could predict the way the conversation was going to go before I even looked at who was there. Eventually I went over in my own time to give them their order. I did the usual teeth crackingly insincere thanking that I do to irritating customers before the kind of thing I was expecting arrived.

A guy with shirt back and sides brushed forwards under a mound of gel with the obligatory bomber jacket and gold rings leaned out of the back window and l,ooked at me. I was sure he was going to do the whole mocking "Oh your gorgeous I want your number yadda yadda thing" when you know mother Teresa looks better. But no. He caught me off guard with a new one...

"Excuse me love. Do you know how to suck 'em?"

This one threw me as I had a comeback for the number jibe ready. I tried to play it cool and just said "Yeah whatever have a nice day" and closed the window. Didn't work too well though and they sped off laughing.

The answer of how to deal with that the best way, and most other stupid comments from inane blokes came in the form of a Media lesson. Two YR10 boys had been put into our class for misbehaving and were smirking across the room to one another. Miss Evans put a stop mto that straight away by appealing to the sexist males tendency towards homophobia. She said but one sentence: "Are you boys done smiling lovingly at one another?"

Bingo. You genius Claire Evans. That wiped the smiles off their faces and they didnt make eye contact the rest of the lesson! Haha.

I can see that working wonders on most of the losers that come through the DT.

I can see it now. Next time....

Losers: "Oi! Psshhht!"
Me: [casually assembles the order and ambles over to the window]
"Theres your order..."
Loser 1 : Excuse me love. Do you know how to suck 'em?"
Me: [Looks at him calculatingly with a hint of pity for a moment]
"Why dont you ask your boyfriends.... they seem keen."
[casually slides the window shut and walks away to the sound of loser 1s mates laughing themsleves silly at him]

Why oh why wont Staffordshire University reject me!!??

I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Then rejected 3 interview offers by not replying.

Then waited.

Then sent a reply saying i was no longer interested in my course by post.

Then they sent me another bloody letter saying that if i wanted to cancel my application I could phone or write.

I did write you knuckleheads! Thats why you sent me the letter!

So I phoned them up right that moment and they said "Right, we will get that processed for you then."

4 days later.......

Diddly

Squat

Nil

Zero

Neight

GAH!

All they have to do is look down a list on the net and click reject. Jeez. In the meantime I have to wait longer and longer making my chances of getting the accomodation i want at Sheffield smaller and smaller! Stupid Uni people!

Right. If it isnt done by Thursday I will phone up again cos this is getting silly.

*sigh*

Anyways.

Oooh I have been given a proper stint in the kitchen at McPondlifes! I can do all the kitchen but "chicken side" now and thats easy :D I was "pulling regs" just as fast of the rest of "grillside". Crikey there is a lot of McDonalds lingo aint there? Here are a few choice phrases you might like to know:

Big Macs - Big Smacks, Smackers
Cheeseburgers/Hamburgers - Regs
Bacon - Beer Can
Sausage - Swaggage
Pancakes - Mancakes
Make - Pull
Being the cleaner host/hostess - On DA
Double Cheesburgers - Dooblays
Washing up the naggy pots and utensils - Dive
Grilling more burgers than allowed at once - Illegal runs
A person that often works on the front desk - Till Bitch
The act of throwing something (particularly containing water) into the sink from a great distance - Waffle
Please refill the coffee/milkshake milk mix containers - Do me Daisys Udders!
Please take care to tell the drive though computer that you have completed assembling that particular order and are ready to assemble the next - TIMES!

Well those are some of the more interesting ones.

This holiday has been a little boring a little fast. The routine is generally wake at 11, play drums, play PS2, watch TV, sleep, work, repeat. Not good really. I have been trying to do a few odd jobs imbetween like sorting stupid Staffordshire out. I am sure there was something rather large that I wanted to talk about that I thought of a couple of nights ago.... Ah yes. It is a biggie. Can I be bothered actually to talk about something so ridiculously huge? Hmm no.

I think the nature a paradigms and the cultural impact of such things can wait hehe!

It has been a long time since I wrote anything hasnt it? You may (or may not) be pleased to know that I now have the joys of broadband on this beaten up old box. Yay! That is part of the reason that I havent written anything for a while as I had no connection for a while, that and laziness hehe. Well, actually I kept thinking about something to write on here but either couldnt think of anyhting remotely intersting or thought of something incredibly long, complex and ultimately boring.

Just a few minutes ago I had a big craving for chocolate but couldnt find any so I am sat here (rather ashamedly) eating Super Cook chocolate chips. I am so bad!

You may (if I have remembered how to do it properly) have noticed that this page is a fetching shade of blue - powder blue in fact. "Why?" I hear you ask... well I went to an open day at Lincoln Uni today and got taught a thing or two about html. It turns out that you can play around typing in different colours in to the script. Fun! [See my previous post on my colour fixation!] The Online journalism lecturer has emailed me saying that he would be interested in looking at my blog so this one is for you Bernie!

I am in a bit of a pickle now with which uni to put as my first choice. Until today Lincoln was supposed to be my insurance but having seen it.... oooh I dont know! The course looks really good, I can see myself really enjoying myself if I chose it. The city is lovely too, much nicer than the delapidated and gritty depths of South Yorkshire. The accomodation looks nice... if I understood the brochure right I could get up to £1000 punds a year in scholarship... there are less pubs for people to pester me to go to... there is a lakeland so I can persuade mum to come down and give me a lift back...

On the other hand though. Sheffield is Sheffield. It has a fantastic reputation, it is the cheapest place to live, it is only 15 minutes on the train compared to a lot of hoo ha on the train to Lincoln and the course looks like it would set me up best for a job. I would love to live in Lincoln and do the course because it just looks more fun, but if I am honest ith myself I really should go to Sheffield as I think the course is the closest you can get to real journailsm. You get a part of the city assigned to you that you have to go and report for. How cool is that!? You also learn shorthand as part of your course and get to spend lots of time in courts. It just seems more like the frantic caffeine dependent life of a journalist that is what seems exciting to me.

I guess the real reason that I am tipped in favour of Sheffield is that I know somebody that went to Lincoln Uni to do Journalism, and having graduated with a 2:1 cannot find a job. He is now working in my McDonalds. I just keep thinking "Oh my God! That will be me if I dont get a job out of this!"[Sorry Bernie!] If I had the pretentious prestige of Sheffield Uni on my CV I bet employers would look at me more favourably.

Well. Never say never. I wouldnt be dissapointed if I went to Lincoln just.... nervous of what would become of me. I think you can accept your insurance over your first choice anyway so the option is still there.

Oh yeah. I have been reading some of my old entries and realised that I often dont bother saying what becomes of my worries and efforts so I will do a little round up here:

• I got my driving liscense and have had a couple of lessons with Dad down a creepy lane full of cruisers. The DVLA have kindly sold of my personal details to various companies and I am now recieving crap through the mail from car insurance companies. Well, at least it isnt all the liposuction and christian life insurance sapm I keep getting!
• I finished my MED3 Media coursework. I did these three rathergood style anti smoking posters in photoshop and then did my entire written folder in 4 hours. Queen of cram yeah!!
• ID cards have been approved after Geoff "Git face" Hoon threatened the Lords with passing a new bill making them have to agree with anything in the governments manifesto, thus rendering them pretty pointless. The cards are (and I quote) "not compulsory". You will have to get one when you get a passport however. So you only actually have to get one if you plan on leaving the country at some point in your life. Riiiiiight...
• Iraq is at this time not at civil war but things still aint looking good. Blair is thinking of running away and leaving the Iraqis to it. Bitch. Just a couple of posts ago I said what I think about the whole Iraq business and I am not happy about sodding off from Iraq at all. When the British and American goverments have the audacity to go and play with their new missiles in some country seemingly chosen by raffle, dont you think they should clear up their mess rather than pissing off and leaving the civilians to pick up the pieces? Yeah they say that they are relinquishing control over to the Iraqi army but they barely have one yet! They just want to save their own sorry arses from dropping even lower on the opinion polls. Bush is down to just 33% approval you know. That is the lowest presidential score... ever! What an idiot. If Iraq ever want to get their own back on Shrub they should drop a bag of pretzels on the white house. That should finish him off.
• I still havent heard anything more about Katie. I guess she isnt coming back to CrapDonalds after all. Oh well, I bet she is happier where she is than having to work with somebody she hates. Matthew Clinton my old mate from school is now working there though so things are more fun now :)
• I havent got much further with learning Korean, I havent really had the time but I still intend to. I have kinda forgotten about it along with nunchaku. Well, with the holidays here I bet I can find the time for both. Roll on nunchaku bruises!
• I havent had any more dilemmas concerning having to store loads of secrets on behalf of anybody. It would seem that most people have stopped caring why Katie left and forgotten about the whole thing. Well fair enough I guess.
• I got my January exam results back: Politics A, English C, Sociology A and Media....B. How!? Ig ot full marks in my media resit after barely getting a D last time WTF?! The first essay I did in the exam was pretty good but the second was barely over a page long! Goodness only knows how all the YR12 noobs must have done to bump my marks up to full! Haha! I was really chuffed anyway and decided to resit my AS coursework (the MED3). It seemed like a good idea as my media module grades are now A,A,D-. This is despite the fact that tah only gave me 3 weeks to do my MED3 on a very bodged extension that really peed Mr Hudson off. Anyhoo I got it done as you know in a cramming style again. How good it is I have no idea as unsurprisingly I didnt recieve any help with it.

Well I think that is all I need to update for now. The online lecturer at Lincoln has suggested that all of us applicants send him some stories to stick on the Lincoln website. I have been wondering about doing an article "30 days" style on what it is like to work at McDonalds. This would have to be all hush hush however as there is an amusing clause in my employee ahndbook instructing me not to talk to "any media outlet as comments can be twisted and used against the company". Very true but also rather sad. I guess I could have done it under a psudonym but having mentioned this in my blog that would now be pretty pointless. Meh. I will think about it. I could always go for a no brainer of a review of something I suppose.

Well. As much as I could probably go on I should really go to bed. Despite waht the silly bar at the bottom says I am postin gthis at 12.00am and have to get up at 6 for work at the place of ineffable torment. You know, the other day for a short while, dying literally seemed better than going on at that place.... very worrying.

If you have made it this far Bernie without falling asleep or being thoroughly confused by my many tangeants, I thank you. You have probably doubled my audience.

Peace, sayonara, later, whatever. :D

Just a quick note to say that I overheard Siomn at work today talking about Katie. They were talking about words in a context that might suggest depression. He said the confirming words "Didn't you know, her boyfriend has left her." to on of the other staff. But I did hear another of the staff say about somebody "Yeah she is coming back!"

Heres hoping its our Katie! I hope she is ok. Much love darling

I dont want to go to bed yet and I want to write something but again I am not really sure what. I guess I could talk about work but I dont think I really want ot, its kindof boring and I have so much to do I sont know if it is actually possible to do or not.

OH MY GOD I HAVENT EVEN STARTED MY ENGLISH AND I HAVE 2-3 WEEKS TO HAVE IT COMPLETED AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL I AM GOING TO WRITE ABOUT!

Ok that feels better now that is off my chest. Moving on....

Ok. What can I do as a little update? Ah yes. I sent off my provisional drivers liscence form today. Maybe I will be driving soon! Yay! There are so many places that I have always wanted to go but have never really had the chance to do just so with mum and Dad. I would lover to go in to the peak district for instance and find this enourmous waterfall gorge that I have seen on TV that looks absaloutely stunning. Whenever I am meditating or whatever I imagine myself there. Even that story fragment I wrote on my writing stuff is inspired by that place. Ooooh how lovely it would be to go there and just.... sit and look at the tumbling water and be content. Mmmmmm.

The north coast of Northern Ireland looks beautiful too. I would adore it if I could drive around the North coast taking in the dramatic cliffs, the rolling sea, the lush green and the quaint little villages. Oh yeah...

I think that is one of my dreams hehe. Along with visiting Seoul in Korea, Tokyo, The great Wall of China, New York and Reykjavik. And of course after I have become a top respected music journalist under control of several newspapers and magazines whilst being a rock star. And most definantly after I have retired to a job in a my own little ice cream van touring the sea sides of britain..... ah that would be the life....

Well. At least I am on my way to a few of those goals. I am learning to drive, have read a book about Korean culture (so different from our own it is really very interesting) and am learning to read Han Geul, am saving up to go on holiday to somewhere like Reykjavik in the summer, spending loads of time practising guitar and drums so I can join a band at uni, am half way there to the best journalism uni course in the country...... and I make a damn fine McFlurry! Wait a minute.... I am on my way to all of those goals.... rock on!

I guess all is good really. I just have to see little things like pulling a 3000 word English dissotation of which I know nothing about from knowhere and I am laughing. I guess it will be one of those things that I will worry and worry about and it will all just be fine in the end. Just look at those exams a few weeks ago. They all turned out just fine with minimal revision. I think....

Well I hope all will be well anyway. Even if it is not English is my weakest subject and I still have 4 more form which to get 3 Bs for Sheffield. Not getting in to Sheffield is not an option however.... I have my heart set on that place now. It is just perfect for me in every way and will really test and push me. Damnit I want to go to Sheffield! And I guess I will. I just have to not stop and slack but instead get shit done and I will get where I have always wanted to be.

Isnt it strange that you spend 14 years in school learning stuff only to be told at the end "See ya. So something decent with your life and all that.....". Hmmm. You expect something a little more extravagant after spending the first 7/9ths of your life studing for the benefit of society. How ironic that I will hopefully become part of the low brow part of society. What Marxists would call part of the superstructure and what the new right would ironically label a decadant superficial establishment that lowers all 'standards' to the 'lowest common denominator'. Thats a bit of an 'up yours' to the establishment isnt it? I didn't intend it to be but I cant help but admit that is quite a satisfying thought at some level....

Hey. Wasnt I supposed to have a bath or shower tonight?.... Damn it.

Sorry about the tangeant there but now I will have to improvise tommorrow. I guess I could straighten the hair and just have a quick bath without washing the hair..... oh wait. Is the water even on then? Damn it. I will have to think of something. I bet I am late for work again. I can't be significantly late or I might be the one that the new boss Alex (funny eh Tina?) makes an example of. Well. In that case I will be off to bed before I get zonked tommorrow.

Bye bye for now. I know that you wont get the little asides and the comment below. Well. You aint supposed to lol. You can ask me if you like but you wont get an answer from me! Lol.

Bye for now.

Note to self: I must write this now at 23.57 as it only occured to me what day today is at about 5.00pm and I have only just recalled again a few minutes ago. While it is still February the 18th I will acknowledge this date and celebrate it. I hope in years to come when I read this I still remember and feel the significance. AJALVP

I have thought for a while about the effect my (very) small audience has on this account. Although non are avid readers (with the notable exception of Mike :D), I realise that I cannot be absaloutely free with the subject matter I could discuss. This is hardly limiting though as the things I decline to comment on or contemplate are the very deepest and often darkest parts of myself that nobody else should, could or even want to read. And myself perhaps. I don't know if this is true of everyone but I think I need to hold some things back, just a few things. I feel almost empty when I divulge really deep seated and personal things to my very close friends.

I don't know, maybe it is helathy to have some things that you don't tell anybody...

Hehe. I bet you few that read this wonder what these deep thoughts could be. Well, just the sort of things that we all have that you wouldn't want to broadcast to the whole world lol.

Hmm. I had a feeling that there is quite a lot I wanted to write tonight....

Ooooh. Tangeant moment. I just recalled that I have recently had a few minor situations that I havent had since the ye olde dayes of Hungerhill. Namely having knowledge that I cannot tell people because it might cause trouble. One example I can give is at work the other day, a girl that has just come off of maternity leave asked me why Katie left. Well. Hehe, that is a sensitive one isn't it? Look at my Writing stuff blog if you don't already know what went on, lord knows its too long for me to bother writing out again hehe.

I blurted out without thinking "Well....." making it obvious that I knew something. After a lingering pause I went on to say "I have heard a story but I dont know if it is true and I dont want to spread it around in case it is not." Which is true although I probably should have said that it is pretty damn damadging if it is true....

She said "Well I have heard rumours..... I will take whatever you say with a pinch of salt". But I still couldn't say anything. Even though Katie is gone I don't want to blurt her private life out to everybody and I get on really well with the apparently guilty other manager.

She continued: "I heard that she didn't get along with the managers and left because of that."
I was beginning to look an overcautious mare to the girl so I compromised with: "Well it was because of one partcular manager yes." whilst trying not to say it loudly enough for the guilty manager to overhear. I think she was satisfyed in the end. Luckily hehe.

What was my point? Ah yes. What I was saying was that I havent been in this position for a long time but now there are several things that I have somewhere in my mind that would be very damaging if I were to let them out accidentally to the wrong person. How do I get hold of this information? Hehe. I am a veritable magnet for secret information. I should have 'confidential' tatooed on my forhead for all the things I somtimes have to remember not to say to each person I meet lol.

Ah well. I always liked being the confidente anyway. People seemed to find it easy to talk to me and tell me secret stuff. I think it was mainly beacuse I forgot things very easily! But also maybe becuase I find it easy to empathise with people...

That sounds a bit big headed doesnt it lol. To make self compliments so flippant. Well I think it is true anyway. It does however mean that I have all the dirt on everybody. Good job I dont have any enemies. They would be toast haha!

I have an odd sharp ache in my right wrist again. I had one about a week ago. Very strange... I think maybe it is from playing guitar. I do tremelo quite often and mostly do double downstrokes instead of the standard up down stroke when playing so it is no wonder it should cause some strain.. still its not as bad as the old days when I would spend all day on the keyboard and make my left shoulder solid and cold. That was a little wierd but fun all the same :)

I have a load of things to write about but really cannot be bothered to as they are all kind of long and mostly boring. Hmm. This has been a bit of a tedious entry I guess and littered with 'lol's. I think that is because I felt I was being a little dull and melancholy which doesnt reflect my mood. I am in a pretty good mood today but am tired and groggy. Oh well.

Oooh! I filled in a form at school to volunteer to be on the blood donor register! I am a little nervous about the idea. Watching your blood drain into a bag is not one of the most appealing of ideas but I guess I should. As I said to Tina the other day, it feels like a moral obligation. Kind of like a millionaire refusing to give to charity. As far as I know I have a lot of blood that other people will need. Moreso because I am pretty sure I am O- which is the extra useful one that can be given to anybody. Well. I intened to try and give blood at least once then I will have done my bit. After all, knowing me I will probably end up needing some at some point. For some reason I find it likely that I will end up in hospital after doing something silly....

Well. I will stop for the moment as my wrist hurts and I am quite tired. I will write more soon :)