Post 100!

This should be a momentous occasion but is actually an afterthought. In any case, it all started in this blog back in 2005 when I was a wee lass of just 17... Yes I know I am only 20 now, but it seems like an absolute age ago. A lot has changed since then, and I hope I have changed too. I am sure I have, but it is so had to tell when the change is gradual...

When I started this post is was partly out of the want to write something, and partly because of good old fashioned peer pressure as two of my uni friends are starting up their own (genuinely interesting and vaguely themed) blogs. Bella is already up and running, and will surely have lots to say about her year in Deutchland. I on the other hand feel woefully inadequate with my occasional posts complaining about work and babbling about things that are most likely unimportant to anyone but me....

But lets press on anyway! This was a blog set up specifically for me to waffle and vent in so I shall waffle and vent on!

I have to say when I clicked on "write new post" underneath the line saying "99 posts" I felt completely lost for what to write about. In my short ramble however, I decided that like an old sitcom with a run of 26 episodes and a budget for 25, I should go with recycling old stuff, and have a little look at what has changed since that fateful day in November 2005.

I don't know what exactly compelled me to start up this blog on that day, but I do know that I felt like I had a lot going on in my life at the time. It was that funny time during your later teenage years when you suddenly have this bombardment of both knowledge about the real world and your first real responsibilities. I felt I had a lot to talk about, what with suddenly being aware of everything from politics and the workings of society, to interacting with adults properly for the first time and having a 'real' job.

I really was quite angry about all sorts of things wasn't I? Although I do sometimes feel strongly about moral and political issues now, I do think I have mellowed in how ideological I am. Like my parents always said I would, I am now much more in the centre ground - politically wise and don't immediately jump to liberal extremes when it comes to an issue.

I guess where I stand upon issues and decisions about life and beyond has become a real theme in the past few years which have helped me to realise things about my personality. I guess the more you examine and explore yourself, the more you see through the 'hats' you put on and distinguish between your true nature and that which you present to other people for various reasons.

I guess what I have really learnt from all of the exploration of morals, opinions and questions is that it is OK not to have a strong opinion. There is no need to pick a 'side' and stick to your guns, defending your position to the end. To say that I have always felt I am rather good at empathising and seeing all sides of an argument, it took me a long time to realise this. Perhaps it is the fact that I cannot stand to be wrong that made me take so long.

Whereas before when asked a big question I would leap to the side of freedom or liberalism and argue my position until one of us was shot down in flames, I am now much happier to say "Hmm, well I am not sure its quite difficult isn't it..." I guess its kind of a way of acknowledging that it is OK to hold your hands up and say 'I don't know'.

It has been said that to know that you know nothing is the first step towards enlightenment. While I don't think I can aim quite that high yet, it is strangely satisfying to live in a world that is almost entirely gray and not criss cross with harsh and divisive black and white lines. In many ways then, I guess I am more accepting of every bodies views now and so maybe, I am a little better at empathy? We'll see I guess.

Perhaps one of the biggest U turns of opinion I have had is on that of McDonalds. What started as hatred and barely contained rage for the company and the store that I worked at has now turned into a kind of acceptance of the place that is actually now quite pleasant to work at. It certainly helps that McDonalds has really cleaned its act up - making the food healthier and better quality, stocking free range and organic dairy products, supporting local produce and even becoming one of the greener retailers out there today. Apart from that, it doesn't hurt that I work at a damn good store with staff that I actually have plenty in common with.

To be honest, I don't really have any beef with the company at all anymore, instead of a quiet sort of grudging feeling, knowing that despite all my past scorn, the company has saved my bacon on more than one occasion.

Of course one of the other big things that has changed is my career path. When I began this blog, I was going to be a journalist or die trying. Everything I did at school and many of the things I did out were all geared towards giving me the biggest boost I could manage into the journo game.

Now nearly 3 years later, after getting what I wanted - a place at Sheffield Uni on their prestigious Journo course, I realise that journalism probably isn't for me. It's not I can't do it, more that I can't do it without seeming to have to put more effort in to it than most people - not in a physical or academic way, but in a motivational way. Nearly every other journo on my course is on the student newspaper, or has got something published on a website or local paper, or has had some amazing work experience, or maybe just hates journalism and is trying to avoid all of these things at all costs. I on the other hand would like to do these things, but don't really have the motivation and confidence to just throw myself out these and do this stuff.

It's not even that I wish I could do it but can't, but I do not have any burning desire to do so. I think about all the places that are available for work experience and am not really enthusiastic about any of them.

I love the learning, the acquiring of skills and the simulated news gathering and production, but when it comes to the real deal, I just don't really feel like I have any sort of passion. It is this and the fact that I will be paid a pittance to work on the Nowheresville Weekly for a few years before I even start advancing my career that makes me think: "Well actually there are so many other things I could do..."

So that's it basically and I plumed for PR after investigating what else was open to me with my qualifications.

Challenge - Check
A different day at work every day - Check
Capacity for individual flair and input - Check
Promotion based on merit - Check
Ability to input creativity into tasks - Check
A salary that you can actually live on - Check

It is everything that journalism is, but slightly easier to get into, better paid and I actually really want to do it. Sorted then. Well until the stress of job hunting...

What else has changed then?...

Well for one thing I have tested many of my limits in these three years (and incidentally learned that all figures under 11 should be written as whole words - thanks Tony Harcup!). So many of them just basic things - How long can you get by on four hours sleep before it gets too much? How much is too much alcohol? Do you really need a sleep pattern? Can you get away with cooking a three course meal without ever having attempted the recipes before? What happens if you stand amongst the smoke of people getting stoned? Do people think you are weird if you try to start a conversation in the bus queue? Is it lonely to live on your own? How long can you stay awake? Is that thing really as unpleasant/painful as it looks?

The great thing about uni is that in a place full of people with the same questions, who like you have never had the chance to answer them before without the social constraints of family and people with expectations about your behaviour before. Uni is all learning - in the lecture theatre and out. As many students will say (although many of them for reasons involving intoxicating substances...) the actual university course is a small part of the university life. Its sort of like being on a plane for the first time: the ride is so very exciting because everything is brand new. You know you are there for a reason - you are going somewhere - but somehow, at the time, the ride becomes more important than the place you are going. And those lectures from the air hostesses are just a necessity.

That analogy sounded much better in my head, but I am sure you get the drift...

So where to from now? Well I have one more year to go at Uni before the big bad world and it looks like it is going to be an interesting one. I have to spend a lot of time getting my CV well padded out and spending a lot of time working off my own bat instead of working to millions of deadlines as I grapple with a dissertation and at least 2 other semester long assignments. With my cramming tendencies, neigh, impulses, this could be one of the greatest tests yet...

Hope that was worthy of post 100 and that it wasn't too self absorbed!

As much as I would like to continue writing, it is starting to get light. Not a good sign before you have gone to bed...

Thanks to all of those that for one reason or another have read this blog. It's a great comfort to know that you can all read this and still see me as the same person, inside and out.

Here's to the next 100!

^_^

Only 5 months since my last post. An improvement. Just.

So yeah. In the end I gave in my notice and spent a week avoiding people saying "Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!?"

On my second to last shift Gavin appeared looking as insanely cheerful as ever. "Lottieeeeeeee! Just the person I was wanting to speak to. Catch you on your break. I'm not letting you get away that easy!"

Oh buggeration.

Gavin had been extra fab and considerate since hiring me when I was in dire need of a job. The last person I want to explain that I have had enough of burgers and being demeaned by half-wit customers, was him. I was adamant at that point that I wanted to leave. I didn't have enough time to do anything at the weekend, I already had enough money and I just wanted to work somewhere different before I had to get a real job someday.

The man drives a hard bargain though.

He proclaimed exuberantly that he would "bend over backwards" to have me stay and probed every reason why I wanted to leave. I mentioned that I thought it was a good idea to get some other experience of work to enhance my CV. Then, something extrordinary happened...

--------------------------------------------

"I can enhance your CV beyond your wildest dreams!!"

"..."

"I know the editor of The Star and I am sure I can get you some work experience when I tell him what a wonderful person you are!"

"..." [Good but I can already get that through Uni]

"... and I can get you experience in the PR department. I know the regional head of communications and I am sure she would be happy for you to shadow her.

"..." [Oooh. Interesting]

"...and I have connections in the Council. I am sure they would have you too."

"Oooh"

"So. Have any fixed shift you like. If you want three weeks off or whatever just say 'Gavin I want three weeks off' ....... Your still going to say no arent you?"

"Well..."

-------------------------------------

So I stayed. How could I not? I now basically work when I want and am due some work experience at easter. Kerching! : )

Since then I have looked in to PR and I actually am very interested. Interested to the point where it actually looks a lot better than Journaism... In fact I have decided to pursue a career in PR instead of Journo!

To be honest the prospects of Journo had been weighing on my mind for some months. I still do like the idea of being a journalist, but am not as prepared to do all the crud I need to do before I get to where I want to be as before.

If I leave and somehow manage to get a job on a local paper (fairly tricky in itself), I will earn £13000 for 2 years until I have the chance to get my NCE (proffesional qualification). Now the NCE is notoriously difficult. Only 40% of people pass! This, although possible would require me to get my 100WPM in Shorthand which would take a real gruelling slog to do. In the event that I somehow managed all of this I would recieve a pay rise of around £3000 a year.

£16000 a year after 5 years of training? Where I would go from there would depend on getting noticed, but mostly luck and making connections in high places.

Do I want to be a respected journalist who breaks groundbreaking stories ?= yes
Do I want to be put through all that for a slim chance of it? = no

Of course if the PR doesn't work out then I might give it a go, but I am not sure I have enough determination to succeed in such a cut throat business anymore. Meh.

Now then. PR is also very competative and cut throat but there are a wealth of jobs out there. Everyone from biscuit factories to Councils have PR departments. With journalistic training and knowledge about Media and copyright law and politics, I am sure that I could do well.

I have looked at what sort of jobs I could get on leaving. Starting as a junior PR hack I would Earn around £13000 again, but would get the chartered status in 1 or 2 years! This would quickly bump up my salary to something you could realistically live off and get a mortgage with. Phew.

As much as I am a champion of "It doesn't matter about the money so long as you can live on it if you enjoy your work", I do not want to live in a mouldy old bedsit on the outskirts of London for the rest of my life as is likely if I take up Journo.

The stupidest twist in this story is that aside from giving me the money to live on for my first and second years at Uni and getting me vital work experience, McDonalds may AGAIN save my bacon and change my life with their graduate training scheme. They have a fab training scheme based in Machester where the very office where I should hopefully get work experience trains you for a year and pays you £13000 for your trouble. Essentially it is a year in industry after my degree. If I could get on the scheme then that would have me made as a junior PR exec. Hooray!!

Ah McDonalds. Hate or Love you, you always seem to save the day. Bah.

Anyway, back to the present.
Know where I am right now?

On a big rock.
Overlooking a stunning sunset across the whole of the west side of Sheffield and the surrounding rolling valleys. The valley is all misty and mysterious. Thinking about it, I think the distant hills are the Peak District. Very pretty they are too.

It really is very beautiful.

I decided to come here today because it was such a lovely day with blue sky and lots of sunshine. It looks like spring is here already from all the flowers that have come up and insects getting in my cous cous and on the lappytop screen. Squee!

This place is in a really random spot. Just the other side of Crookes road where Tapton is and just the around the corner from Veronica Hardstaff who I interviewed last year. None of the other students seem to know that this place exists. Nice really cos it means the only people here are dog walkers and the occasional school child shouting "Mummy! Why has that lady on the rock got a computer?" To be fair its not only children giving me funny looks.

But never mind! It is very worth it : )

I am used to getting stares in my general direction now since
A) I wear a skirt and heels to court and bus drivers pass by every few minutes
and
B) I go places with Megan and THE hair

Megan has been trying to get red hair for ages. I have personally dyed her hair 3 times various shades of purple and red with results varying from brown with a hint of purple to blonde streaks. Therefore when we had a nosy round the local Blue Banana [goth shop] clone "Rocky Horrors" she spent an unnerving amount of time looking at the super luminous colours behind the counter.

Well. She bought the stuff. 2 Packs of bleach and power bleach and a pot of "tulip" colour ( "Colour may vary at the manufacturers discretion. Do not apply to eyebrows. Risk of Blindness" etc ). From the samples the colour was red with a hint of fuschia. Very nice.

Thursday night after Meg's last exam and before the appointed end-of-exam bash outing to Fuzz, it seemed only appropriate that we were to do the deed then.

Out comes the bleach and powder. When mixed it looks blue. Hmm. I tentatively put it on hoping that it will turn just the right shade of blonde like the tester. Halfway though.

"Ooooooh it itches!"
"Don't worry not long left."
"How long?"
"........50 minutes"
"Oh Fuck."

Somehow she endured the itchyness and I watched her hair go from a dark brown root with reddyness from the previous dying.. to something not a million miles off Gewn Stefani. With red streaks.

Time to wash it out. The result is pretty startling. The once brunette Meggle is now a bimbo. She attempts to comb her hair but it is incredibly knotted. She looks worried. I insist on taking a photo of her blonde and try to get ther to go out like that. She has better judgement however.

On to the redness!

The stuff is so easy to apply and really takes to her hair (and face and ears). The paste looks a little pinker than was hoped but then the orange-red dye I used to use started out purple. So what do I know?

Time to wash to gunk off. Woah. This is some ultra colour. Good job she does physics. Its looking really pink.

Time to dry the hair. This will inevitably make it brighter as all hair is darker when wet. God. What is this going to turn out like?

Done.

Holy Guacemole.

Megans hair is positively neon in its hot pinkness.

"WOW!" Rachel comes down from her room
Lizzie giggles and says "Oh my God!"
Indeed.

The hair goes down a storm and but attracts surprisingly little attention from the Fuzzters. Probably because its dark, but maybe because they are all SO ALT3RN4TIVE DOODZ.

Since then randomers keep on talking to her. Within 5 minutes when she was stood outside of McDonalds 2 people talked to her. One to ask her where the local rock club is and another to ask for a light. Yep. Sounds like she looks like a proper physicist!

n.b. Here is a demonstrative photo. Looking directly at the hair may damage retinas.



Well. My hands are like ice it is getting really freezing (and a little dark) so I guess I had better get home. Hopefully the next post will only be in 4 months time...

So. Yes this is a real post. A REAL post with writing and stuff. Wow!

Its hard to say why I havent posted for ages. I guess the chrimbo holidays and my complete lack of any interesting activity didnt really lend itself to interesting discussion. Plus, I havent really felt the need to vent my spleen at all recently. Things are rather damn good actually :D

The past couple of weeks have been very eventful as uni life always is. Keith seems to be practically living at my pad haha. I have seen him about 4 times since being back which is of course fab. Why else would we call him "Mad Keith" if he didnt do riciulous things?

So yeah. I went around DOncaster for the first time and found out that it actually is really good. It is stupidly cheap, perhaps even moreso than the Union (£1 drinks and free entry to the Che Bar!). I was also introduced to "Central Park" on this glorius outing which boasted a cocktail bar complete with slightly overconfident waiters that lobbed around bottles before making the drinks. Groovy.

We all took a look at the menu. I say we, there were a few of us this time around - Me, Keith, his girlfriend Sarah, Mike, Weezy, Her boyfriend who I really should have learnt the name of by now and from Uni Megan and Lizzie. The others opted for various things - strawberry martinis and odd concoctions with ginger in them amongst other things. Me and Megan however (being both female and chocolate lovers) were drawn to something called a "chocolate monkey". Made from milk, tia maria, vodka, baileys, cream, chocolate, more cream, cream, cream and sprinkles it had to be good. We got a pitcher as it was only £2 more than a £4 glass. The guy said that you probably got about 1 or 2 more glasses out of it. Ah well that would be fine then.

Chocolate Monkey aquired. The cream on top was immense! It took us a good 5 minutes to eat our way through the squirty cream before we even got to the drink and it was gooooooood. The drink itslef tasted like a creamy chocolate milkshake with a hint of coffee and whiskey. Just a hint mind which made it rather easy to drink. As for the pitcher, we actually got about 3 glasses each from it. I didnt really feel anything but very hyper, presumably from the sugar but Megan did appear a smidge wobbly.

We have since aquired the ingrediants to make our own monkies and do so when the occasion calls. Mmmmm.

Keith and Mike are back on Thursady which will be fun. Luckily my lectures start at 12 on Friday....

Speaking of academic stuff, I volunteered myself to participate in a study of "inquiry based learning". No I am still not 100% sure what that is either. Basically I go along to an interview, two group, one individual, which are taped or videoed. I get asked to talk about my learning experiences at uni and then get some cash for doing it. Yay!

I went to my first one on Thursday and it was really quite enjoyable. I arrived early and was given a cuppa by the nice receptionist lady and talked to the guy doing the study - a really nice bloke called Bob. Bob just moved here last year from Tenessee so we talked about the correct way to make tea and how Doncaster Sheffield Robin Hood International Airport is a very misleading name and such.

I talked with Bob and 6 others for a few hours about how we like lectures to be structured, our favourite learning experiences and other such things. We were told that as long as we agree, the organisation doing the study - CILASS wants to follow us all the way through uni. Coooooool. This is the first study of its kind and is apparently going to be fairly influential and if successful could have fairly far reaching implications. Sounds rather exciting no? It is actually very exciting for me in a geeky way as I spent the last 2 years in sociology learning about how sociological experiments are carried out and the ways in which they can go wrong. I was sat there thinking "Hmmm I bet this study is going to really suffer from sample attrition" and "good thing they are mixing group with individual unstructured interviews, don't want to compromise the validity with peer expectations...." To be part of one of these studies is really facinating to see what it is like for a subject.

So yeah. £10 an interview and £50 bonus for sticking with it for a year. Yay!

Lectures are going rather well at the moment. I actually loved one of the ones we had the other day. Loved. I know! It wasnt even like it was light or anything. It was in a new module - Current Debates in Broadcasting. This basically concerns the theory and study of the broadcast media and the economical and sociological implications it has on society. For some reason I really love Media Theory. In fact last year in Media Study I was the only one that went "Yay!" every time we were told by Miss Hollywood (our name for Mrs Gail)that we would be studying news values that day.

I reckon if this Journalism thing didn't work out, I could be happy being a Media Theorist. Well, providing I could ever get a job of course.

The lecturer in this module is a total dude also. She is called Jackie Harrison and looks just like Sian Lloyd. She has an amazing line in stripey jumpers too. She kept asking us the whole way through the lecture if we liked the way she was doing things and if there was any other way we would like her to do things. Heck she even said that if any of us had any questions or would like to discuss things further we could do it over a coffee! We all love her and I have made a facebook group in her honour.

One of the required reading books for this module is one of her books and I actually can't wait for it to arrive so I can read it. Crikey.

The other new modules are pretty cool too. I also do Ethics and Journalism (contrary to popular belief there actually are some :p ),Public Administration (as boring as it sounds but at least I get a NCTJ qualification from it) and Researching and Reporting :D

We are still covering the basics of R & R like the structure of local government and such but in 3 weeks we are out there on our patches. Yay! Ooh that reminds me, I must e-mail my lecturer to request the Walkley patch....

We sepnt the last R & R session (3 hours!) looking at a Sheffield council financial audit. It was sooooo tedious! They werent lying when we were told that Journalists provide a service to the public by making the things in official papers public knowledge. If I didnt have to learn how, or if I wasnt getting paid, there is not much that would make me look through another one of those bad boys! I cannot see any member of the public going to the trouble of requesting one of these monsters and then reading it for fun. After two hours I was actually finding it hard to stay awake so I went for a 5 minute walk. I did manage to get a good story from it about how the Council was in £40 million of debt when it had £38 million uncollected tax from the poll tax (This was an audit from 1993 may I point out!). Gotcha!

There has been a ton of snow for the past few days. It has just about melted now which is rather disapointing but I had a good mess about last night with Megan, Rachel and her boyfriend Jo(e). Rachel is a snowboarder so she took her board with her and had a go down the hill opposite us. I had a go sitting on it which was fun, but riding on the tray we found was even more fun! We then went on to Roselyn road (very steep for those that dont know it, it is almost impossible to walk down in high heels) for some good falling over action :D

After eating an alarming amount of snow when out and about, Megan suggested we should try some with some blackcurrant. Um. Ok then. So we got a container from inside and took the top off the freshly fallen snow on a wall. After voicing my concerns over eating more than a bit of water that had fallen out of the sky, Megan reasurred me that rainwater is practically pure and that it is only bad for you if there is loads of pollution in the air. Hoping that there was less pollution in the air than your average city I watched Megan forget all about blackcurrant and pour two caps of tia maria in to the snow to make a satisfying slush.



Never eat yellow snow? Actually it was rather nice, particularly when baileys was added. So we sat eating snow out and alcohol out of a box with a spoon whilst watching Xena Warrior princess on the internet. We are that cool.

Speaking of the internet, I must urge you all to go to www.alluc.org right now! There are hundereds of tv shows on there that you can watch. Wow! So far I have watched all of sugar rush, a large portion of the X Men cartoon series (yeah I know but it was my favourite as a kid), a couple of films, Bill Bailey shows, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, QI and others. Woo! Many of the series' are complete too which is fab. Its not illegal to watch them either, simply illegal for the brave fools that post the vids on the net. The site is even legal too as it only has links to the videos on other sites. Could it be better? Well no actually, I saw 12 episodes of the Family Ness back to back!

I have just realised that I have neglected to mention what is probably the most important thing that has happened recently which is that I HAVE A HOUSE FOR NEXT YEAR!!!! Wooooo! Not only that but it is amazing!

It is the second house that we looked at and it is simpy immense. It is clean and in excellent condition, there is everything you need - a new fitted kitchen, a fridge freezer, a hoover, internet in every room, a patio, an AMAZING view of the south hills aaaaaaaand it is only £45 a week! OMG! That is amazing!!!! The ones in Crookes are £55 for a crapy house that when we viewed it looked like it had been ransaked it was that messy and it had a big bong and some hash on the table. Tasteful.

But this is a dream house in a lovely area with a lovely local pub down the road (with the all important pool tables and quiz nights) and the landlord is really nice. Megan knows one of the people that lives there at the moment so we can easily interrogate her at some point.

We signed the contract the day after we saw that house hehe. It is quite possible we would have lost the will to live if somebody else got in there. We did look at another house that day just to reassure ourselves that our house (for that is how we were referring to it at that point!) was actually the best student house in Sheffield. It so was. We had assigned bedrooms before we had even requested the contract!

So there you go. About 1 months worth in a post. There is more to come however about a rather comical abuse of the postal service that I may post tonight. It will be a biggie though as it has about a ton of photos to illustrate the story. So yeah. Toodle pip for now!