Oh.

My.

Word.

On a scale of 1 to 10 Muse were about 20 million!!!!!!!!
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo awesome!!!

We got to the arena and queued outside in what has to be the coldest night yet this year, I was completely frozen. We even huddled like penguins! Of course it would have helped if i was wearing more than a tank and my £2 primark hoodie.... but I digress!

We sat down and watched the support act "The Noisettes" who were rather damn good really. The lead singer was mental! She screamed and yelped her way through the catchy songs and just generally threw herself sround the stage.

Applause.

Musical interlude (and a good one!) including Rage Against The Machines "Killing In the Name of" - rather amusing to hear 12,000 people yelling "Fuck you I wont do what you tell me" along to it actually.

The atmosphere was fab as the stadium was rammed - I have never seen it full before :) The whole arena was mexican waving and chanting and singing. So imagine then the roar as the first electro buzzes of "Take A Bow" came humming from the immense sound system! Wow. This was going to be totally amazing....

Here it is.... [view at my blog facebookers :D]



Note the drummer emerging from the big box of light veeeeery cool :)
And it just got better and better! As it got to Time is running out, Tina leapt up dragging Kat with her, after some persuading Becky followed and I heartily joined in. We sang our little hearts out and jumped along (with rock hands of course.



For me Stockholme Syndrome was their best song - being the heaviest of anything they have ever done bar Assassin (which they unfortunately did not play :( ) We all smashed our heads around accordingly, singing, rock handing and generally behaving like yoofs at a gig :D At the end of this song after some freestyling on the guitar, Matt lobbed his guitar down, chucked the speaker on top of it and surfed it till he fell off. What a badass!



And so after an extremely loud encore they came back on and played the old fans fave Bliss (complete with trademark giant Muse balloons :D) and then on to the last song - Knights of Cydonia. OMG!!! AMAZING!!! See below :0



And so we hyperly raced back to the car, bought a poster from an extremely shady dude with a big trenchcoat and proceeded to drive back to Tapton whilst crucifying Bohemian Rhapsody (complete with trumpet solo from me with my rolled up poster). I recorded all of this so if I find a way to put it up I shall.

http://shef.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2046131&l=c3fed&id=61110373 Tinas piccies

Woo and Yay Muse rock the Earth :D:D:D

Blah blah blaaaaaaah blah blah

Sorry, just felt like doing that for some reason...

Well much has happened since my last post - Me and Dean are together, Mum should be out by the end of the week, I have developed a strange liking for ironing, I am now in the rock night band full time (now named the Loose Cannons) and have an upcoming paid gig (paid woo!) at the Park Hotel in town and today I went to Tae Kwon Do for the first time after intending to go for years.

*Breath in*

Full couple of weeks then!

Well I guess I should start with the Tae Kwon Do as it is that that may stop me from completing todays blog! Tina phoned me yesterday and asked if I wanted to go with her and Peter her brother so I just said yes. And why not?

I arrived today to see some people hard at work through the window. We went inside and talked to the receptionist who pointed in the direction of the people working away and said "Just go on in and join the class". Oh my.

We warmed up for a fair while doing jumps, squats, situps, stretches, pressups and running - lots and lots of running. Me and T and Peter too were completely bushed by this point as were several of the older women. Luckily we got on to learning some simple moves.

I now know jabs, hooks, uppercuts , straights, backhands, straight and roundhouse kicks. How fun! Unfortunately for us three, when it got on to training with pads it was continous training for everybody! We had to line up in two lines facing the two instructors with pads. The teacher showed us a combination he wanted us to do on the pads - the person at the front hit the pads and the rest of us practised in time until he shouted "CHANGE"! At this point we all had to drop and do some evil exercises like 5 press ups or 3 squat thrusts and move forward so the next person got a go on the pads. That was kindof it really. The instructor seemed impressed with mine and Tinas roundhouses. Tina had done a couple of lessons before, I however have learnt everything I know from Tekken and thought best not to say so!

I was knackered! Hehe!

It was actually really enjoyable even though us three were aching too much to walk without complaining loudly. And I was sooo hungry afterwards! When me and T went to Tesco for some pasta sauce I was eying up the sandwhiches on the conveyor belonging to a buxom blonde woman! haha

My ankles are still pretty wierd. They have the "good" ache about them - you know when you have exercised and you feel the burn afterwards that tells you there is gonna be some muscle growth overnight. Damn those pivoting roundhouses! hehe

Anyhoo I should be going back on Thursday all being well :)

Me and T had an interesting chat the other night in her car. She had just taken me home and we were having the best chat in ages about everything - you know the deep stuff :) In the end she just parked up and we ended up talking for about 3 hours without noticing, that is surely a personal record... Anyway we were both pretty tired so we were talking with our seats tilted right back like beds. It was cold outside so the windows were steaming up and me and T kept on laughing - mostly at T's feet that kept on peeping the horn accidentally heehee. Tina was wearing tan coloured short shorts and was resting her legs on the steering wheel...

You should have seen the look on the blokes face that walk past hahaha! I dont think any explanation is necessary... Needless to say me and T just laughed harder making the suspension wobble further...

Me and Keith went to look at synths the other day as we decided that that should be our first band purchase after a PA. We found a MicroKorg in Electro that was just... imense

It was the damn coolest thing I have layed my hands upon in a long long time. In a few button stabs I was making well ace noises that sounded like the Sugarbabes or the Eurithmics or something. Sooo ace. And the thing that made it uber uber ace was *drumroll* a VOCODER!!!

WOWOWOWOWOW! Get it! Get it now!

For those of you that are not techy freaks allow me to explain. A vocoder is a voice changer that allows you to sound like a robot, like you are underwater, like you are on helium, quite literally anything you want as analogue synths can quite genuinely create ANY sound. I cannot tell you the feeling of elation as the synth burped back at me in a robotic voice "KEEEEIIIITH IIIIS GAAAAY!" Oh the childish hilarity! I want one soooooo much it hurts! Just the things the band could play with that thing... It would be the best. Oooooooh!

Other musical news - I have all of the Muse scores back that I lost when the hardrive of my last OC blew up, and when I say all I mean ALL. I now have the score to every song off Muse's first 4 albums *swoon*. Yay! I can now divert my time once more to learning the best songs to play on guitar and KB yay! I also learnt Supermassive Black Hole today which is a great song. If I havent already mentioned it I have TICKETS FOR MUSE ON THE 18th NOVEMBER EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Sorry bout the caps there but I think it is necessary to outline just how amazing that is going to be. Put it this way, the first time I saw Muse live on TV at Glastonbury I sat there and time and time again kept on saying "oh my God that is so fucking ace!" to myself at 1 in the morning - no mean feat. It was so mind bendingly amazing it was all I could think about for days. I subsequently bought their Live DVD despite the fact I already had half of the songs on their corresponding live CD and oh my God that is too the work of genius. Absaloute perfection. Matt Bellamy is a Guitaring God.

So seeing them live is quite probably going to be (and I say this with no irony) the greatest moment of my life. As one Muse fan once wrote after seeing them "the clocks turned back and the year returned to zero, it was THAT good". I think they will probably be right. After all I was high for days after seeing The Corrs and even though they were brilliant and I love them to bits, Muse are in another league of amazingness. Again and again they pull it out of the bag and become even better. Their latest album "Black Holes and Revalations" is absalutely bloody brilliant!

My God I am a Museaholic....

Well I think that will do for now as an update and heap of praise (again) hehe.

Farewell for now :)

,Ok. I can't really be bothered but I feel compelled to write some stuff I have just thought of.

I am currently listening to "ruled by secrecy" by Muse and GOD it is beautiful. Every echoing striking of the bass is giving me shivers. Oooooh here comes the descending, dissonent and sad piano solo. #Change in the aaaiiiiiirrrr and they'le hiiiiiiiiiiiide eeeeeeeeeeevrywheeeeeerrrrre no OOOOOOOONE likes whos in CONTROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#

Sorry I got a bit carried away there but it was just one of those magic moments when the song matches exactly your mood. And THAT song is calm, understated and sad yet heart wrenchingly beautiful. An overlooked gem on mine and everyone elses part of the Absolution album. Matt Bellamy's voice is nothing short of remarkable on that song. His voice is so quiet, almost to the point that it is breaking and the sound wont come out, and yet it conveys the repressed rage and sadness af the lyrics. And all of this just backed up by a bass plucked once every two bars, a simple and gentle 4 beat and drums and antagonistic arpeggios on a keyboard. Absaloute genius.

Somebody once said "The most beautiful songs are sad" and I think that is pretty true. All of the really beautiful songs that I can think of all have a minor tonality and often sad lyrics. Just take "Exit Music (for a film)" by Radiohead. The only song that has ever made me cry. It caught me unawares. I had listened to it several times and it struck as one of the saddest songs I ever heard and rather clever but not too stirring. Then one night I was in exactly the right mood and listened and felt every syllable of the words. Suddenly I was one of the tragic Romeo and Juliette characters depicted calling out in a broken voice : "I hope that you choke". It was a truly moving experience. I just let open the floodgates and cried for these two fictional characters. It was a very odd experience and one that frankly, I don't think I want to experience again with such a bleak and terribly sad song.

I have done it again.It tis 12:45 am and I am listening to a playlist called "beautiful" which translates as sad and melancholy. I know I really need to listen to something with more kick in it but I don't think I would be able to get in to it now as the mood of this music is infectious.

Oh my god I am so sad and I don't know why. It is not a faint dissatisfaction that I normally have when sad but something worse. Its like a feeling of dissapointment mixed with a wierd feeling of innadiquacy that I have had since this morning or before. I empty and I want to cry for no particular reason. Maybe its this sad music, maybe I am just tired, maybe its because I have worked 3 days at mcdonalds and we all know that that place can send me wappy after a while. I don't know. I have been a little dissapointed and dissafected recently for no real reason. Maybe it is my subconcious remembering all of the sad things..... Oh damn it, "Exit music" has just come on and I just know I am in the mood to cry again. I will carry on anyway.

Where was I? Oh yes, maybe it is just my subconcious remebering the sad things yet to come: the moving away from my incredibly close friends that I have never been away from for more than a few weeks before, the fear of moving away on my own, the fear of whether journalism is the right course for me, the dissatisfaction of not yet finding a single person that really feel for that feels for me too so I can have a relationship, the puzzle and apprehension of trying to fit in with people that are very likely to like going out and getting bladdered when I barely drink, the dread of somehow pulling english coursework out of nowhere, the effort of getting a media coursework out, the fear that my grades are going to go down cos A levels are so fucking hard and I will feel like I have really not done enough and regret it for the rest of my life, the fear of money trouble and the nitty gritty of sorting out living space etc at uni..... I am sure there is more. I guess there are just loads of small things that are floating around in my head somewhere - I don't really think about them much if at all but I guess all this shit is bound to have an affect on me.

You know what. I need to get some stuff out of my system. Here goes some heavy shit.

I need to decide on some real big mental decisions, to decide what I want and what is best for me. All of this is mostly to do with one thing. Whenever I have feelings for somebody (which incidentally is almost always extremely inapropriate or unrealistic) I allow myself to put them on a pedestal and simply allow it to become an enourmous crush (or as I have explained in my writing stuff something even more). I then hype myelf up so much that it is like I am stood next to the Pope or a movie star or something when they are in the room. I am like "My god its really them! Think about what you are doing!" Now the real problem lies in the fact that pining after unobtainable, unrealistic and downright innapropriate people takes over. I spend all of my time thinking about these untouchable people that nothing real will ever become of. Of course everybody has a flight of fancy but these spats of worship are stopping me from turning my attention to people that I actually know properly and could have a relationship with.

So here is the decision: Either carry on and hope that one of these pedastalled people ends up happening to be somebody that I actually know and could realistically have a relationship with but face the problem that very few real people catch my attention or, stop and diminish the joy in my life. You may find this wierd but I like nothing more than thinking how great and amazing somebody is. Hell I gush about bands that I like, can you imagine what I am like with people I really fancy? Plus this has been the way of things for such a long time that I dont know if it has become like a part of my personality, a defining feature that I can't just cut out.

Actually I do know. A few years back I did just that and cut out all the irrational crushes I had. I made a mental block and stopped any of the thoughts that I could. It coincided with my really depressed and moody phase which could just be a coincidence of teenage hormones but I am not so sure. It would suggest that I need some kind of escapism every now and again.

I don't know what to do. I do know however that that was more than a bit exposing and I sincerely hope that very few people cast their eyes on it. I know I also may have come across as a strange obsessive manic who mind blocks stuff but, well, I needed to get that stuff out so I don't care.

I am sorry this has been such a depressing read so far but I just needed a vent. And that is just exactly what I want this blog to be. A vent.

Ok. Well. On to more upbeat stuff...

I walked in to work 2 days ago to be asked if I would sty on a few extra hours. I was like: "er, um, i don't know I am very tired. I think I will have to give it a miss". Then the great laugh that is Becky said: "Ooooh, shall we bribe her?...... Lottie. You have crew member of the month!" At this moment I was rather surprised "Oh, right, wow" I was mumbling whilst trying not to let a massive smile beam across my face. I am such a hypocrite! I go on about how McDonalds is so crap and how I hate it and how it is all meaningless and then when they give me an award I get all smiley and dare I say it.... even proud? *shudder* In the end I declined staying on but felt quite good.

Then I went to work this morning and Becky was like: "Oh by the way you have won employee of the quarter" This time my reaction was a little less gracious: "Really? Why?" "Er,You just did" "Wow, thanks". Hehe. I tried so hard not to smile but failed. I got all sorts of questions asked about my hobbies and stuff. Then I fathomed by what Becky was saying that she had entered me for "Employee of the month for the North East of England". I was like "woah there!". I still hadn't the faintest why I had got any of these accolaides. I read the write up and it was basically because I am "always calm and hard to wind up!". Which is kind of cool I think.

I still can't get over the fact that I technically should have been sacked 7 times, have openly told people that I hate the company and am frequently 10-20mins late for my shifts yet they choose to send me to an interview with Big Sam. A scary person indeed. The manager of a big group of restaurants. It is hard to explain why that is a big deal. Its kind of like sending a church goer to see a cardinal in the vatican: one down from the big cheese. I am a little afraid now. Oh well. A cool experience.

Right then. I think I will go to bed now or do some more writing stuff blog.

I know this has been a depressing and then self congratulary entry but frankly I am too tired to care right now. Byeee :)

I feel compelled to post another blog right after my last one as I just realised that I actually have quite a bit of stuff I wanna waffle about. Hmmm, what shall I start with?

Oh yeah. I am really loving this blog. I'm loving it haha! I actually really enjoy reading some of my stuff back to myself. Ii is a little disheartening to find that I write a better blog than anything else though. Lol! I seem to have effortlessly impronted my true self and feelings on to this blog without sounding incredibly obnoxious or paranoid. Although I now kinda feel both haha! Now that is irony.... Ooooh I am really not sure now. I am thinking to myself 'hmmm, your other musings have sounded ok. Not too self obsessed, just a normal girl with a diary. But what if I am wrong? I bet I sound like a right prat now banging on about how ace I am at writing when all my stuff has been self important shite.'

I have just had one of those little thought moments when you realise something that is hard to put into words. Well. I assume everybody has those lol. The best way of putting it is..... sometimes I have a fuzzy optimistic glow inside of me when aomething pleases me. And that glow promotes an undying optimism and so belief that something will happen when it has anything from little to no chance of happening. And THAT is what drives me.

It makes so much sense! Oooooh an epiphany! I am all excited now like I have fathomed my psyche! Thank goodness it was now so I can write it down! I am well aware that this is probably of little importance or sense to you but....

There is something that I can only describe as an unnamed emotion that all things that drive me and please me set off. Its like every time it is activated a massive squirt of happy juice is realeased around my brain. I feel it when I play, listen or think about music, when I dream about anything I would wish would really happen (like banging out that mind bending solo just like Matt Bellamy on a Jackson Soloist in front of millions of people), think about my aspirations, get creative and write something, when I have one of those dreams that you never want to wake up from, when I have a really big and wonderful think about myself and my life, when I have a really insightful and revealing deep chat with a friend, whenever I achieve something I am massively proud of, when I go for a drive through the country letting my imagination run wild, when I go to a naturally magical and beuatiful place...... Wow. Just thinking about the things I love to do is setting it off! Hey. That is like a list of all the things that make me happy! Cool.

This is really going somewhere now.... but I have lost my train of thought.......oh yes.

You could call it happiness, but I don't think that is exactly what it is. It is more a feeling of endless possibility, stimulating, provoking me to do something whether it be to lose myself in imagination or go out there and achieve something. Damn I am getting so pumped up now! I wanna get out there and take on the world! At the same time it is a wonderful feeling that I don't want to fade. That is why I can have undying optimism and belief because then I can keep this emotion alive. That is why I love The Corrs.... it really brings out this feeling. Their music makes me think about intense feeling and big, sweeping open spaces....

This is exactly the feeling that I have been lacking recently and I didn't even realise! This feeling was constant when I had that big obsessional infatuation several years ago. That is why it was so intense.... Right. I know what to do now! I will do those things I listed, make myself content and ambitious and ready to go.

World. You don't know what is going to hit you! I can feel that I am gonna get back in the zone and not come out for a long time! Come on Charlotte. You can blitz it! Wooo!

Sod the rest of this post, I was only going to ramble on about work and shit like that. I have beter things to do!