I feel obliged to post something on here as I have concentrated on my Writing stuff blog for the last couple of days. I have really found it enjoyable and liberating to put my stuff online as it has made me think about how and why I wrote that stuff, what I was like then, what I am like now...

I do like a good think about myself! I know I keep saying it but I probably am egotistical. Heck even saying I am is being egotistical. It is a sad call out for somebody to say "no your'e not... you are perfect Charlotte in every way and I am in awe of you." before getting out Mary Poppins' tape measure.

I really must stop writing things in the library, it is quite exposing. The guy next to me keeps having a quick look. I don't blame him, I would. Hehe I wonder if he is all awkward now...

Oooh. I felt great yesterday after reading partners. I brought an ace Fighting Fantasy book for my girl Danielle to have a go at. It was a little difficult for her but she was really quite enthusiastic about it for a change which was great. She tried so hard and even fobbed off her mates when the tried to get her attention. I still can't get over the fact that she read a big and dfficult word... it began with a "D". It was something like disproportionate or disapline or disaffected or something. The government is right! Phonetics is the way forward!

Yet again I am going to have to wait around till 4 for Alive TV. It hink Terri is coming today though so I will have somebody to talk to hat I know a bit better than the other random strangers. Don't you hate it when you are the 'new one' that everybody excludes?People don't normally do it out of meaness. They just assume you are quiet I guess and don't tend to mae conversation with you when they are set next to their old mates. Well, its not that bad at Alive TV. I make an effort to talk to people but still feel a littel awkward. I think the other newbies do too though....

I really wish (oooh see the poem "Power of a word") that this blog was more interesting today but I think I am in a slightly apathetic and dissalusioned mood. I just have been realising how much I have to do. There is of course the obligatory christmas shopping which I have been enjoying so far... but now Ants T-Shirt probably wont come before christmas so I will have to order something else and I still have to get something for Grandma, Dan, Lisa and Lisa's B Day and now Keith too as he got me a fantastic xmas/b day pressie in Bomberman. I also have to decide what to do with the pile of PS2 games I want to trade in, do all these bits and bobs of homework that I have wheeldled out of, do some coursework, sort out christmas hours at work and most of all, get this task done for Nottingham Uni.

I understand that they are emulating journalistic deadlines but doing a radio newscast and an essay when you have no decent recording equipment and school and work to think about is asking a little much in 2 weeks. I did wonder whether to not bother after I got that Lincoln offer but I can't half arse uni applications. I want to be ready "just in case" with all the offers I can get. For all I know Nottingham is really good. I only added it because it did my course in this area and wasn't as shite as Edge Hill.

Oh well. I guess I need to see Mr Hester to sort out recording this bloody thing. I need to practise my radio voice too. When it said "Broadcast Journalism" I thought it meant writing for broadcast with the option of actually presenting it, not presenting it with a bit of journalism banged on the side. Still. It is an option I guess.

I can't be bothered to write any more today. I am not being interesting enough.

If you don't have anything to say... son't say anthing.

Well here I am in the library again under a sign that says SILENT AND LISTEN ARE SPELLED WITH THE SAME LETTERS. Quite ironic... Shouldn't that be spelt instead of spelled? These librarians are so wierd. At least the psycotic bint one is on maternity leave. Poor kid....

I am doing well with my chrimbo shopping! I only have Daniels, Lisas and Kats to find the others are either got or in the process of getting :) and its only 25th November!! I am really pleased with the stuff I am getting people. I think all of the prezzies will be well recieved :)

I went to alive TV on Wed. I was sound person on "Crrrimefile!" cool eh? This stuff is fun. The police guy was really very good as a presenter: natural, commanding, fun and a great voice, very rich and deep. Our presenter guy Matthew was also very good. He was quite nervous of course but there is something endearing about his speech impediment.

I hope I eventually get good at camerawork. I really need to improve for the 21st if I am to blag a camera sot. I still have visions of doing the intorduction thing but I have a feeling that if I actually did it t would be far lamer than I imagine. I also keep thinking about the band spot on the weekends. I know I could get myself a spot doing a solo act or something with becky but would I really want to? So much pressure. It would be like the time I did the piano solo on a talent thingie at HH. Hands so sweaty they slipped on the keys, that weird ache in my stomach, shaking like one of those massage chairs..... still you gotta hand it to me for covering up that messup with a ridiculous arpegio, not even in the right key!

Maybe its best that being a musical person inside me stays there. Its good to have dreams :) I will just keep up writing self important crappy songs and having a good time :) maybe I will actually get round to getting Becky in on the act.

I am running out of things to write now....

Ah yes. The game Quadrapop on my mobile [a shameless undersea ripoff of tetris and bust-a-move] is becoming very addictive. Now all of my scores are over 20000 with the top score over 50000. It must have taken me 15-20 mins to get a score like that. Its consuming my mind! Haha!

I stole an employees handbook from work he other day. It makes interesting reading. I estimate that I should have been fired at least 7 times for seperate "breeches of company policy" including underinging prices, serving friends and most hilariously "divulging trade secrets". May I take this opportunity to continue the trend.... LARGE COKES ONLY TAKE 2P TO MAKE AND I HAVE A STRICT CONVERSATIONAL CODE (SUCH AS ASKING IF THEY WANT A COKE INSTEAD OF A DRINK) TO SPEED THINGS UP AND SQUEEZE MONEY FROM PEOPLE. I ALSO HAVE TO SUGGESTIVE SELL AT LEAST ONCE IN THE CONVERSATION IF I THINK WE WONT GET SUED. There. That is better. I also discovered that I am forbidden from speaking to the media because "comments can be taken out of context and twisted to use against the company. We can expect regular attack ffrom the media." Cool eh? Hmmmm. Alive TV + McDonalds = HAHAHAAA!!!

On that insane note, I bid you farewell. :D

I got a new shiney phone! Yay! It takes pics and vids and you can voice activate it and it has editing software on it and did I mention it was shiney? Ahhh the smell of consumer fetishism.
I keep fiddling with my phone, I think I am unnerving Katherine. The games are rather diverting too. Very dangerous.

I am writing this again in the library with a very runy nose. I have had an impressive headcold for the past 3 or 4 days which has caused me to stay off school (and work!) for 2 days. Things I have learn from my illness: 1 - Sudafed does no work, 2 - How to actually use my phone properly, 3 - how to shop for chrimbo pressies people actually want 4 - I am getting some awsomely, uberly, massively ace dripping in loveliness carbon fibre drumsticks from Nicks for my b day, 5 - I am getting the most beautiful handmade silk guitar strap from Kat 6 - sitting by the fire for long periods of time makes you burn, 7 - Reading does not help a headache 8 - Always, always, always carry loads of tissues with you when you are producing large quantities of alarmingly yellow/green ick from your nose.

Not bad for a big of a sniffle eh?

*sigh* I am pretty bored. I arrived in school at 8.50am and have had exactly one formal lesson today. I have to hang around till 4 cos I am going to Don Valley for Alive TV training. In this time I have at least found another 3 chrimbo pressies and ordered them. Yay! I am being very good this year. I have done about half of my shopping and by saturday I will have most of it. Woo!

Ooooh its my birthday on saturday and I am actually looking forward to it now. I am less depressed about being 18 now than I was. I figure that although I have been a little depressed the last few days over all the crap I have to put up with till at least June, I now realise that after that I have the longest holiday I have EVER had!! Even better than the May-September jobbie of Yr11! Yay!!! Of course in this time I can loaf around shamelessly, earn loads of money, go to cool places (like Iceland! Yes!) and of course, loaf around some more. Who knows, maybe I will actually get round to writing that novel :). Damn thats a good story!

The only problem I now have is putting up with this oppressive and soul crushing feeling of being trapped in a monotenous yet grueling cycle of school, work and homework. Of course even putting up with this creates problems. I need to be up there, active and adrenalinified if I am going to excell. I don't want to just coast through and get good grades like I always do. I wanna cane myself and do the best damn work I have ever done and get amazing grades! If I want this career I need to get going and do it right. Unfortunately I am finding this difficult as no matter what I seem to do I always feel drained and tired. Although going to bed at sensible times has diminished the "oh my god I need to close my eyes or my head will split open" kind of tiredness, now I just have this gentle throb of apathy and general grogginess. I hope it is just because of this cold but I am not so sure. Maybe if I ate a little better then I would be more alert or if I took a little more exercise. But of course to do this I need time and (more importantly effort). The two things I am running short of.

Bloody vicious circle......

At least I have this Saturday to look forward to and after that Chrimbo! I had just better remember to tell Becky at work the times I am willing to work over chrimbo. If they even think about giving me the shifts they gave me at half term I do not know what I am going to do. I desperately need that time to relax and align myself back to a normal, healthy level of awakeness. I am already gonna have a stack of revision and coursework to do, plus uni offers (hopefully). If I get any more shifts than I ask for I think I am just gonna freak out. Worse than last time. (And I still have a scar from where I punched the wall 5 weeks ago.) I can't take it out on Becky as she is so nice and I can't leave work as believe it or not you can be fairly flexible with your hours unlike other places. I will add that on my to do list on my phone.....

Brrrr! Its cold outside. I can't remember it being so cold for so long. Maybe its just my memory but I dont remember it being this cold for years. It is supposed to be the coldest winter for ages. Ooooh! It is supposed to snow tomorrow or a bit later! About time too. To say it is mid to late november I find it a bit weird that it has been 4 degrees for a week during the day and it hasnt rained once.Bizarre...

Well. I think I am going to be kicked out soon. Apparently "The library isnt open afterschool tonight" so I will go and be bored in the common room. I still have 50 mins before I am picked up. And then after 1 1/2 hours of training it will take me an age (probably an ice one judging by temperature) bfore i get home.....

I thought that this blog would be a binge for the first couple of days.Well. It was! It's still fun though so hopefully it won't pitter out before I have a good back catalogue.

I am looking at poor chatup lines and have fallen about over this one: "I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!! " HAHAHA! Oh mercy......

I skipped Alive TV today when I probably should'nt. I am just really tired though. All this crap after school takes it out of you. I do have a lie in tomorrow though so I guess its not so bad.

I found a mint programme that turns all your CDs to MP3s really quick. Yay!

Man the novelty of this has worn off fast. Or maybe I am just too tired to type anything interesting.

Meh...