I have just come in from another talk session with Tina hehe. She comes out with some profound stuff every now and again. The other day we were talking about the nature of religious beliefs (nothing much then) and the way in which we disagree with many aspects of Christianity. One of these aspects was our opinion that people who worship an all powerful being spend too much time badgering him/her/it asking them/it for assistance. If this being is so great and holy and all powerful, why keep on asking them/it for favours when you should be living a good life in return for the life within you? TIna came out with a line that I thought was pretty brilliant "Why make Jesus do overtime?"

I swear one day that girl will just come out with a theorum on relativity or the cure for the common cold or something. She is so convinced that she is not intelligent but she is and every so often comes up with a gem that other people wouldnt think of in a million years. If she ever finds the career for her I know that she will go far.

Speaking of good quotes I feel I owe it to the fantabulous Shirley Manson - lead singer and writer of Garbage to sing her praises here. Her blog is absaloutley rivetting and a brilliant read. I can spend well over an hour just reading her back catalogue which I find truly fascinating. She is a tempestuous woman prone to wild mood swings of depression, elation and despondance. This when coupled with brutal honesty and a real flair for descriptive writing makes a great diary. In one post I read today she was talking about how she can often deal with huge problems but finds the smaller things in life difficult to compete with. She wrote: "You cruise through the huge traumas in some respects .........only to find that you break down into uncontrollable weeping when you can't open a jar of beetroot." Hehehe. I love that woman. Everybody should have to read the diary of a thirty something, bisexual, dysmorphic, depressive scottish-american lead singer. It should be the law!

Have a look now it is addictive! http://www.garbage.com/news/journal.php?mode=list

God Shirley Manson is cool. Only she could combine the phrases "It made me nearly waz myself", "Bozo the Clown" and "They correlated Samantha's big orange muff" into one coherant hilarious remark. Genius...

In other news today I am now part of "The Dragons" Unreal Tournament group headed by a lovely Devon lass called Fluffy who really looks a lot younger than her thirty odd years.... I am really getting into the game now and am going to start attending the practises and everything. It should be cool :)

Today planes across Britain and indeed much of the world were messed up by a foiled terrorist plot to blow up several British planes. Of course I am only too glad that the mad bastards whose heads have been screwed up by some wisened old gits that have the upmost gall for the West have been aprehended and prevented from harming hundreds of people, but I have a faint and disturbing feeling of apathy.

After the initial absorption of the news and a few minutes thinking I was happy to get on with the rest of my day and forget about the whole thing. Indeed I became narked at how much it dominated the media all day. Of course it is a huge story that deserves ample coverage but I increasingly become tired of the extensive and sensationalist coverage by the media outlets. Of course it is hard to sensationalise such an extreme story that could have so easily been a tragedy, but I fear that the media simply plays into the hand of the government that will inevitably use this event to pass some other ridiculous piece of legislation that either serves no real purpose or worse is damaging to the liberty and democracy of the country in its present state. No doubt this will help Teflon and his diminishing cronies pass that bloody ID card bill and waste enough money to buy the whole world clean drinking water several times over on a bit of plaggy that some scumbag will steal from me and cause enourmous damage to me through various fraud crimes. Bastards. As I said to Tina the other day "If they want to make me pay £70 for a bit of plastic I dont want or need then they can fuck off."

I mean would you take all of your medical, genetic, financial and identificational information, put it in one place and carry it around with you? Good god no! Would you carry so much as a bank statement with you in your wallet? I certainly wouldnt. So how can it possibly be safe to carry all of this information with you everywhere? If you leave your wallet somewhere and somebody with a trendy machine and some "contacts" picks it up your life is one big mess to sort out because of his Tonyness. Idiots. And just what is an ID card supposed to do? Answers on a postcard please...

I digress as is easy to do when dicussing the increasingly ludicrous plans of emperor Blair. As I was saying several hundred words ago, I am unsure as to whether my tiring attitude towards events like this is justified. Am I just being cold and uncaring? Is this a kind of "Crisis fatigue" in which these things become the norm? Am I the only person who doesnt react to this coverage which may or may not be governmental propaganda? I do not know.

What I do know is that soon I may well be part of the mean machine that tries to control peoples opinions. The national press begins to look less and less appealing. A nice magazine however or a e-news page.... yes....

Well I will say ta taa again for now.

Bye bye :)

I am putting off finishing this media essay really badly. I have done half a page and it is 11.10pm. Sigh.

I am in the mood for writting a song but can't let myself as I have to be up early tommorow. Why does inspiration strike at such inconvenient times? I can see it now....a big epic ballad with heavy riff intervals about denied pasion or...something. Hey, wait a minute I just did one of those..... I think I found my niche!

After listening to Winamp I am beginning to realise just how amazing some of the music I have is. Right now I am listening to "Venice Queen" by the RHCP. Somehow they have managed to write an acoustic/funk/epic/rock ballad. Wow. Before that I listened to Garbage - "Cup of coffee" oooh that string quartet is so sharp and dissonant but it all somehow falls in to tonal place..... and "Silence is Golden" when the rockin part switches from 6/8 to 4/4. God Garbage are so fucking cool.

Maybe one day I could write something that good. No Charlotte. One day you will if you could just do something about it. Jeez I know the best bassist anywhere, a good guitarist, kat who is coming along on the drums and then there is me on vocals/kb/piano/bass/drums if required and I still have not gotten together to write any damn stuff with anyone else!

I do work best on my own when it comes to lyrics though.... and I kinda have to do the melody at the same time..... so the chords are pretty much static at that point.... and by that point i have an idea of how all the parts sound.....hehe. I guess I can't write with other people. I can't compromise when it comes to creativity. Everything must be just so.

I can never decide whether I am really quite good and I don't share it with anyone or tragically self important in a big teenage cliched mess. Meh. I prefer not knowing!

Teenage not for much longer though. Wierd. I don't think I am looking forward to being older. I normally don't like the thought of being another year. It makes me think of all the time passed and all the things I haven't done yet that maybe I should have done.

That reminds me. I had a great talk with Kat the other day about our love lives. We worked out that in our circle of 8 friends, almost everybody had gone out with each other, or liked each other, or more! So crazy.... We both told each other more than we normally do. I think we kinda freaked each other out a bit. I know I said something I may live to regret. Damn. I told myself it was nicer if I didn't say anything but...no. Oh well. The older I get the less important it seems but every now and again.... something sets it off and I remember properly and it all comes back.

Have you ever had a dream where you feel something ultra-mega-massively intense? I don't know if it is just me but I keep having dreams of extremes. Sometimes I just feel an emotion so massively in a dream that I can't get it out of my head. Luckily it is normally good. I must seem a bit wierd though when I am floating around school in a bizarre state of mind. You know. When you wake up and realise that it was all just a dream but you keep going over it and feeling that emotion. Still.....The most fear, saddness and pure contentedness I have ever felt has been in dreams. Hey thats a poetic line for you.... you need to dream to feel alive. I might use that!

Now I have reminded myslef of the horrible sharp implement and bloody death in front of many innocent young children nightmare I had.... *shiver* that was awful. There has to be some deep seated meaning in a dream that horrific. I don't wanna think about it.

Wow. I have rambled on today haven't I? I feel much better now. I think I needed to have a good ramble. Well I am sure this will make interesting reading in several years or indeed for any friends that decide to follow the link from my MSN page. Hehe. Sorry for freaking you out guys!