I did it. I asked out Mr GSOH!

I was suffieciently tired and spaced out to just go for it. I was talking to him after I had finished my shift and thought - "If I dont do this now I dont think I will ever get around to it. What am I afraid of? He could only say no. Do it! Do it now!"

So I did :)

You know what he said?


"Maybe...."

Hmm. Is that a maybe yes bout you caught me off guard, maybe no but I dont want to say no and watch you crash and burn or simply a maybe? I am not too sure. I told him to think about it and get back to me.

I was strangely calm outside of my comfort zone actually. I am known as the passive one who lets others do their thing and I just watch from the side lines. Getting out their and just asking somebody out really wasnt as hard as I thought, more girls should do it! On the other hand it means I run the risk of meeting "old Charlotte" again. What a heap of complications that is!

The thing is, as I got older I became more passive and less het up about the things that most people get bothered about. I became more mellow and I think it is an antidote to the way things used to be. As a kid I was incedibly big headed and thought I was the bees knees. I was bloody annoying basically. As I got to HH I found out that the world was not at my feet permanently and that not everybody will like you right away. Especially if you are a geeky, podgey kid with stupid hair and a superiority complex.

I gradually learned some humility and began to get along properly with everybody, not just the few people I used to know. As a result I became more placid and unwilling to assert my authority on anything that didnt really matter as I just come across as big headed. I have tried having little confident spats evey now and again. I dont think I am big headed but I cant be sure. What I do know is that when I act confident people percieve me as big headed whether I am or not so... I prefer to keep being passive.

This is partly why taking control and getting out of my box makes me uncomfortable - because I know that if I go the whole hog and behave how I feel comfortable when being confident, I blag peoples heads and get on their nerves!

Meh. Oh well I will find a balance.

Ooooooh!

The Rock Night is go! Woooo! I thought it died a death after I heard nothing for ages but it turns out that everything has a big fat green light over it. The lead guitarist Kieran is A-MAZING! He bangs out Slash solos as if they were a Nirvana Riff! Everything is so effortless to him despite the fact he is lightning fast! Adam Docker is the Rhythm guitarust and he gets some lovely tones out of his guitar. If only he and Keith would practise properly we would be awesome!

Where do I fit in? I am not sure. So far I have only used the school drum kit which is an absolute piece of...... anyway it is not in a good way. All the heads are splitting, the snare sounds like a rain stick and the hats dont go "tch" they go "TAH!" awful. I really thought my kit was poor until I listened to it. *shudder*. I mean they spend thousands on PCs that they dont need for kids to do no work on and pull the keys off but spare the music department a couple of hundred to make theor kit into a respectable sonic instrument and the board go all moany. Stupid old...

Anyways I have only played the school kit and my keyboard (tone 192 - Drum Kit 2!) along wiht the band so I couldnt tell you how well I am doing. Heres hoping though, after all I have never played drums with a band before, just me CD player and I aint the one that has to keep the time with my CD player!

I havent met the singer yet but I am told by Keith that he is really good - and Keith is sparing with his praise! He must be good!

Well, I must cut this short and dash as Mum needs to disconect me so she can put the cats to bed. Later :)