I have thought for a while about the effect my (very) small audience has on this account. Although non are avid readers (with the notable exception of Mike :D), I realise that I cannot be absaloutely free with the subject matter I could discuss. This is hardly limiting though as the things I decline to comment on or contemplate are the very deepest and often darkest parts of myself that nobody else should, could or even want to read. And myself perhaps. I don't know if this is true of everyone but I think I need to hold some things back, just a few things. I feel almost empty when I divulge really deep seated and personal things to my very close friends.

I don't know, maybe it is helathy to have some things that you don't tell anybody...

Hehe. I bet you few that read this wonder what these deep thoughts could be. Well, just the sort of things that we all have that you wouldn't want to broadcast to the whole world lol.

Hmm. I had a feeling that there is quite a lot I wanted to write tonight....

Ooooh. Tangeant moment. I just recalled that I have recently had a few minor situations that I havent had since the ye olde dayes of Hungerhill. Namely having knowledge that I cannot tell people because it might cause trouble. One example I can give is at work the other day, a girl that has just come off of maternity leave asked me why Katie left. Well. Hehe, that is a sensitive one isn't it? Look at my Writing stuff blog if you don't already know what went on, lord knows its too long for me to bother writing out again hehe.

I blurted out without thinking "Well....." making it obvious that I knew something. After a lingering pause I went on to say "I have heard a story but I dont know if it is true and I dont want to spread it around in case it is not." Which is true although I probably should have said that it is pretty damn damadging if it is true....

She said "Well I have heard rumours..... I will take whatever you say with a pinch of salt". But I still couldn't say anything. Even though Katie is gone I don't want to blurt her private life out to everybody and I get on really well with the apparently guilty other manager.

She continued: "I heard that she didn't get along with the managers and left because of that."
I was beginning to look an overcautious mare to the girl so I compromised with: "Well it was because of one partcular manager yes." whilst trying not to say it loudly enough for the guilty manager to overhear. I think she was satisfyed in the end. Luckily hehe.

What was my point? Ah yes. What I was saying was that I havent been in this position for a long time but now there are several things that I have somewhere in my mind that would be very damaging if I were to let them out accidentally to the wrong person. How do I get hold of this information? Hehe. I am a veritable magnet for secret information. I should have 'confidential' tatooed on my forhead for all the things I somtimes have to remember not to say to each person I meet lol.

Ah well. I always liked being the confidente anyway. People seemed to find it easy to talk to me and tell me secret stuff. I think it was mainly beacuse I forgot things very easily! But also maybe becuase I find it easy to empathise with people...

That sounds a bit big headed doesnt it lol. To make self compliments so flippant. Well I think it is true anyway. It does however mean that I have all the dirt on everybody. Good job I dont have any enemies. They would be toast haha!

I have an odd sharp ache in my right wrist again. I had one about a week ago. Very strange... I think maybe it is from playing guitar. I do tremelo quite often and mostly do double downstrokes instead of the standard up down stroke when playing so it is no wonder it should cause some strain.. still its not as bad as the old days when I would spend all day on the keyboard and make my left shoulder solid and cold. That was a little wierd but fun all the same :)

I have a load of things to write about but really cannot be bothered to as they are all kind of long and mostly boring. Hmm. This has been a bit of a tedious entry I guess and littered with 'lol's. I think that is because I felt I was being a little dull and melancholy which doesnt reflect my mood. I am in a pretty good mood today but am tired and groggy. Oh well.

Oooh! I filled in a form at school to volunteer to be on the blood donor register! I am a little nervous about the idea. Watching your blood drain into a bag is not one of the most appealing of ideas but I guess I should. As I said to Tina the other day, it feels like a moral obligation. Kind of like a millionaire refusing to give to charity. As far as I know I have a lot of blood that other people will need. Moreso because I am pretty sure I am O- which is the extra useful one that can be given to anybody. Well. I intened to try and give blood at least once then I will have done my bit. After all, knowing me I will probably end up needing some at some point. For some reason I find it likely that I will end up in hospital after doing something silly....

Well. I will stop for the moment as my wrist hurts and I am quite tired. I will write more soon :)