Er, hi.

I could add a comment here about how long its been since the last post, but I am sure you know how that goes by now. As usual I completely forgot this thing existed and when I occasionally thought "hmm, maybe I should write something..." when something interesting happened then I had a new problem - "Ooh better not put that, someone might see!"

Haha! Yeah I am getting a bit worried about prospective employers and other people who hold my career and paychecks in their hand disagreeing with some of my opinions (and possibly my complaining loudly about colleagues and my job) so I have decided to keep schtum just in case.

So what is different from July?... Hmm.

I am sure practically everything but its sort of hard to know when it has been so long! One thing I definitely have to mention is that I plan on buying myself a christmas present this year : )

I meant to get it last year, but money was a little tighter and so the money I got for christmas went in to the bank because I felt guilty about spending it! But this year? Oh nononononono![Churchill face]

Despite the fact that we are in the beginnings of a recession, and that by the end of my uni years I am supposed to be super broke, I actually have more money now than I have ever had! Not even counting the money from parents for tuition fees, all my hours at Mcwork and my general tight fistedness means I had enough money to live on for the year in September! In fact I completely forgot that Mr Brown is very kindly giving me £3000 this year! As a result I am having driving lessons now, have been on 3 holidays this year (on a shoestring naturally - I do have Yorkshire and Scottish blood), and have developed a taste for sushi and Sakushi - the local japanese sushi bar. My bank balance is still going up. A lot!

I think its time I got myself a treat : D

and so...

"Errr. Its a little keyboard with a lamp on it."

Noooo! It is TEH KOOLZ! It is called a Microkorg and it is awesome. A little synth, complete with vocoder (voice changing capabilities) and look at all the twiddly knobs on it! Squeeee!

I have actually wanted one of these for years, I love the technical geekery of keyboards anyway. I have to be the only person in the world that bothered to use the synth feature on my trusty old Casio WK1800. While others were round town blagging their way into clubs and discovering the interesting things you can do with solvents I was fine tuning the decay envelope of tone T202. No I wasn't somebody with a whole lot of street cred in my school...

Anyhoo I have developed a bit of a taste for electronica in recent months. Ladytron are a great band that I ended up going to see live at the new Carling Academy (The old Roxy Disco) in the city centre. In the words of Simon Cowell, they had the charisma "of an onion". Luckily their songs are awesome and being electronic, their songs are best heard live when the dirty low waves make your chest cavity vibrate - you can quite literally feel electronic music. I can't wait to be doing the same with my groovy little Korg. I should start thinking about names...

I am also totally obsessed with Robyn's most recent album. Its been over a year since I have bought any music, let alone an album which probably says a lot about how much I wanted it! I haven't been this into an artist for a long time so its great to feel enthusiastic about music again. Also, her haircut is ice cold.

Speaking of which - my hair is currently cosmic blue! Its not nearly as blue as it sounds, in fact its more black with a blue rinse, I can assure you that the dye itself is very blue. I dyed the bath, the tiles and myself blue for several days. Hell when I was rinsing the stuff about of my hair, it left blue streaks all the way down me where the runoff had been! At least it covers the pink from Megan's hair history....

Well despite the brevity of the this post I had better go. It is 9pm, I am in the library after a long day selling burgers, it is nearly christmas and for once I need to stop being such a bookworm.

Hopefully I can write something more around christmas, but I had better not make any promises...

Post 100!

This should be a momentous occasion but is actually an afterthought. In any case, it all started in this blog back in 2005 when I was a wee lass of just 17... Yes I know I am only 20 now, but it seems like an absolute age ago. A lot has changed since then, and I hope I have changed too. I am sure I have, but it is so had to tell when the change is gradual...

When I started this post is was partly out of the want to write something, and partly because of good old fashioned peer pressure as two of my uni friends are starting up their own (genuinely interesting and vaguely themed) blogs. Bella is already up and running, and will surely have lots to say about her year in Deutchland. I on the other hand feel woefully inadequate with my occasional posts complaining about work and babbling about things that are most likely unimportant to anyone but me....

But lets press on anyway! This was a blog set up specifically for me to waffle and vent in so I shall waffle and vent on!

I have to say when I clicked on "write new post" underneath the line saying "99 posts" I felt completely lost for what to write about. In my short ramble however, I decided that like an old sitcom with a run of 26 episodes and a budget for 25, I should go with recycling old stuff, and have a little look at what has changed since that fateful day in November 2005.

I don't know what exactly compelled me to start up this blog on that day, but I do know that I felt like I had a lot going on in my life at the time. It was that funny time during your later teenage years when you suddenly have this bombardment of both knowledge about the real world and your first real responsibilities. I felt I had a lot to talk about, what with suddenly being aware of everything from politics and the workings of society, to interacting with adults properly for the first time and having a 'real' job.

I really was quite angry about all sorts of things wasn't I? Although I do sometimes feel strongly about moral and political issues now, I do think I have mellowed in how ideological I am. Like my parents always said I would, I am now much more in the centre ground - politically wise and don't immediately jump to liberal extremes when it comes to an issue.

I guess where I stand upon issues and decisions about life and beyond has become a real theme in the past few years which have helped me to realise things about my personality. I guess the more you examine and explore yourself, the more you see through the 'hats' you put on and distinguish between your true nature and that which you present to other people for various reasons.

I guess what I have really learnt from all of the exploration of morals, opinions and questions is that it is OK not to have a strong opinion. There is no need to pick a 'side' and stick to your guns, defending your position to the end. To say that I have always felt I am rather good at empathising and seeing all sides of an argument, it took me a long time to realise this. Perhaps it is the fact that I cannot stand to be wrong that made me take so long.

Whereas before when asked a big question I would leap to the side of freedom or liberalism and argue my position until one of us was shot down in flames, I am now much happier to say "Hmm, well I am not sure its quite difficult isn't it..." I guess its kind of a way of acknowledging that it is OK to hold your hands up and say 'I don't know'.

It has been said that to know that you know nothing is the first step towards enlightenment. While I don't think I can aim quite that high yet, it is strangely satisfying to live in a world that is almost entirely gray and not criss cross with harsh and divisive black and white lines. In many ways then, I guess I am more accepting of every bodies views now and so maybe, I am a little better at empathy? We'll see I guess.

Perhaps one of the biggest U turns of opinion I have had is on that of McDonalds. What started as hatred and barely contained rage for the company and the store that I worked at has now turned into a kind of acceptance of the place that is actually now quite pleasant to work at. It certainly helps that McDonalds has really cleaned its act up - making the food healthier and better quality, stocking free range and organic dairy products, supporting local produce and even becoming one of the greener retailers out there today. Apart from that, it doesn't hurt that I work at a damn good store with staff that I actually have plenty in common with.

To be honest, I don't really have any beef with the company at all anymore, instead of a quiet sort of grudging feeling, knowing that despite all my past scorn, the company has saved my bacon on more than one occasion.

Of course one of the other big things that has changed is my career path. When I began this blog, I was going to be a journalist or die trying. Everything I did at school and many of the things I did out were all geared towards giving me the biggest boost I could manage into the journo game.

Now nearly 3 years later, after getting what I wanted - a place at Sheffield Uni on their prestigious Journo course, I realise that journalism probably isn't for me. It's not I can't do it, more that I can't do it without seeming to have to put more effort in to it than most people - not in a physical or academic way, but in a motivational way. Nearly every other journo on my course is on the student newspaper, or has got something published on a website or local paper, or has had some amazing work experience, or maybe just hates journalism and is trying to avoid all of these things at all costs. I on the other hand would like to do these things, but don't really have the motivation and confidence to just throw myself out these and do this stuff.

It's not even that I wish I could do it but can't, but I do not have any burning desire to do so. I think about all the places that are available for work experience and am not really enthusiastic about any of them.

I love the learning, the acquiring of skills and the simulated news gathering and production, but when it comes to the real deal, I just don't really feel like I have any sort of passion. It is this and the fact that I will be paid a pittance to work on the Nowheresville Weekly for a few years before I even start advancing my career that makes me think: "Well actually there are so many other things I could do..."

So that's it basically and I plumed for PR after investigating what else was open to me with my qualifications.

Challenge - Check
A different day at work every day - Check
Capacity for individual flair and input - Check
Promotion based on merit - Check
Ability to input creativity into tasks - Check
A salary that you can actually live on - Check

It is everything that journalism is, but slightly easier to get into, better paid and I actually really want to do it. Sorted then. Well until the stress of job hunting...

What else has changed then?...

Well for one thing I have tested many of my limits in these three years (and incidentally learned that all figures under 11 should be written as whole words - thanks Tony Harcup!). So many of them just basic things - How long can you get by on four hours sleep before it gets too much? How much is too much alcohol? Do you really need a sleep pattern? Can you get away with cooking a three course meal without ever having attempted the recipes before? What happens if you stand amongst the smoke of people getting stoned? Do people think you are weird if you try to start a conversation in the bus queue? Is it lonely to live on your own? How long can you stay awake? Is that thing really as unpleasant/painful as it looks?

The great thing about uni is that in a place full of people with the same questions, who like you have never had the chance to answer them before without the social constraints of family and people with expectations about your behaviour before. Uni is all learning - in the lecture theatre and out. As many students will say (although many of them for reasons involving intoxicating substances...) the actual university course is a small part of the university life. Its sort of like being on a plane for the first time: the ride is so very exciting because everything is brand new. You know you are there for a reason - you are going somewhere - but somehow, at the time, the ride becomes more important than the place you are going. And those lectures from the air hostesses are just a necessity.

That analogy sounded much better in my head, but I am sure you get the drift...

So where to from now? Well I have one more year to go at Uni before the big bad world and it looks like it is going to be an interesting one. I have to spend a lot of time getting my CV well padded out and spending a lot of time working off my own bat instead of working to millions of deadlines as I grapple with a dissertation and at least 2 other semester long assignments. With my cramming tendencies, neigh, impulses, this could be one of the greatest tests yet...

Hope that was worthy of post 100 and that it wasn't too self absorbed!

As much as I would like to continue writing, it is starting to get light. Not a good sign before you have gone to bed...

Thanks to all of those that for one reason or another have read this blog. It's a great comfort to know that you can all read this and still see me as the same person, inside and out.

Here's to the next 100!

^_^

Time for a quick post.

I am in the newsroom at the moment, feeling like a moron. The weekly lecture on Web Journalism has just ended, and I wasn't there. Why? Because I was convinced it was Thursdy and I should have a broadcast workshop. DUH!

Luckily it was a lecture that was handy rather than important.

Todays news - The Independants political poll ndicates that the Tories are 11 points ahead of Labour giving them a projected majority of 34 should there be an election tomorrow. Ooh er. A bit unnerving. If you aren't a Conservative that is.

I have noticed more and more recently that my political views are becoming more and more central and that the ideological view of the world that Mum and Dad assured me would dissapate, and that I assured them it wouldn't, is being slowly eroded.

Like everyone else, I now feel entirely free to poke fun at the Communist Student society and their ever futile attempts to get a student officer, ANY officer on the committee. Bless.

I always wonder just how communist these communist students are. As far as I can tell, their revolutionary agenda seems to consist of trying to make Uni education free and complaining about oil companies. Its good that they care, and that they are trying to do something, but... well it doesn't seem particularly likely does it?

Various student factions stand outside of the union all the time and ask me to sign petitions to the government that demand making education "free for everyone". Personally I don't have a problem with tuition fees. At the end of the day, it costs money to run a university. The money has to come from somewhere whether the student or the tax payer.At the moment it is a mix of both and the burden on the student is not particularly massive. Yes there is a loan to pay back, but its peanuts compared to gettign a mortgage or whatever. If you can afford to buy a new car (which I suspect may uni graduates will do at some point), I am sure you can afford to pay a minimum fee every month.

The Union have also decided to abolish the post of "Womens officer" and replace it with "Equality officer". Seems to make sense to me. Does the union need a full time salaried person [woman] to make sure women are represented? Personally, in 2008 I don't think so.

There isn't a whole lot left to reform to be honest. There is still a pay gap between men and women, but this is modtly due to women choosing to have a career gap to have children. Although it would be nice for there to be more stay-at-home dads, this is surely an individual choice and not some grave injustice of society.

The womens officer does provide a really handy Womens minibus for late night getting home. You just pay £1.50 and a nice man delivers you to your door and provides baby wipes for when the girl next to you throws up on your arm (as happened last year!). Poor blokes however have to walk home on their tod or pay £5 for a taxi. Statistically men are more likely to get attacked anyway! Inverse sexism anyone?

I think perhaps we need to stop worrying about having a neat cross section of the population in faculty of every organisation. Does it matter that most Phycisists are guys? Frankly, No.

I-art-mightyer-than-thou rant over.

In other news! Its the McDonalds christmas party tonight. Yes I know it is February but nobody wanted to go on a trip to Alton Towers so it had tobe cancelled. Crazy people! Instead we have a room booked at Varsity - a club on West Street. Apparently there will be free food and drinks and a kareoke. It could well be interesting...

Also, two fab bands are playing at Fuzz this Thursday. Hiem (a dance troupe not a million miles off being an electro Artic okeys), who I saw last year and really liked and 'extra special guests': "The Dead Eyed Bitches". Thnks to Uni being the gossip shop of the world, everyone knows that "The Dead Eyed Bitches" are actually Sheffields Indie super-group the Long Blondes. Although not that into Indie, songs by the Long Blondes are always played at union nights so the atmosphere is bound to be amazing! I wonder if the poor security guys will have to catch the crowd surfers thrown at them again...

Journo is stepping up again now it is getting towards the latter part of the year (in February! What ever happened to real hard work?). As all of my modules this year are coursework assessed (apart from French in which the exams are in lesson time anyway), I believe I finish on May 22nd. How wonderfully ridiculous. I guess I should sort out some work experience for the summer (and by Summer I mean late spring to mid autumn as Uni starts in October).

Things are looking good on the PR front. I talked to a man from the PR chartered thingummie at the Student employment fair and explaine my plan of action with work experience and Journo stuff. He said that I would be "well set up" for a career in PR. Yay! I also talked to the Local Government reps and they said that they emply graduates straight from Uni and training on the job. Yay! With so many local govs around the counrty things are looking good. : D

I guess the summer also lends itself to excessive McDonalds working. Kerching! I am not sure if I will be in Doncaster or Sheffield yet though... Also. Holiday!! I fancy going somwhere a bit further afield this time if possible. Even if it's just to spain or Germany or somewhere, I would really like to go somewhere new. AS most of my Journo friends are from far flung places, and I work with some many foreign nationals, I have felt a little cocooned recently... Ah well. One day I will get to Japan when I have a real job with real working hours...

This has been a bit of a rambly post today hasn't it?

I am at abit of a loose end to be honest. I do have a Web Journalism workshop in 30mins however. Hopefully when I have learne a little more HTML I can make this blog a little more fancy. Mmmm yes. Sounds fun : D

Well I think I will stop rambling now before I bore you to death.
Toodles : )