I thought I would do a little post while I am here. I forgot to put in the last post some of the brilliant shop names of Sheffield :)

Why just at the end of our road is "On A Roll" a sandwhich shop. You see what they did there? On a roll! Like bread! Hahahaha! On A Roll! Like also in a fortunate stream of events. Woooooh! Oh its killing me!

Oh.
You did.
Ok....

Also just a few down from our house next year a chinese called "Wok this way". You gotta love it.

There are some truly appaling ones too. "Joe's Plaice". Now that is just boring! Where is your imagination? Couldn't you at least have "Haddock Enough" or "Pray to Cod" or something? Hmm maybe I should work for The Sun.

Also, perhaps terrible in a slightly amusing way I noticed a bookies called "Bet Davis". Oh my God. Please tell me the owners last name is Davis or that would go from a terrible pun to just a human tragedy.

My fave has to be a hairdressers fantabulously titled "Curl up and Dye". Now that is a name!

I was searching for a picture of these places but found instead a thread about good takeaway names. Here are a few of the ace ones:

• Wokswagon Beetle
• Fistful of Donners
• Abrakebabra
• Balti Towers
• Wok Around the Clock
• Don't Be Shellfish
• Not Tonight Dear, I`ve Got A Haddock
• The Codfather
• A salt and battery
• The Battersea Cod's Home

Amazing! We really need more of this, none of this serious rubbish! If you are going (probably slightly intoxicated) to one of these places for a pitta bread full of reconstituted and mysterious "meat" covered in warm mayonaise and dead lettuce then you can hardly take the name seriously now can you?

In other news, I am getting increasingly traumatised by my Central Government lecturers asides and anecdotes. Whenever he is explaining anything about the legislative process, the example bill always involves dogs as an example, normally being castrated:

"So if you had a bill, for example that all dogs must be castrated, the Standing Committee would examine the fine points. How should this be done? Should there be a register for the castration of dogs? Should Bulldogs be exempt? Is a fox classed as a dog?! Should all four legged animals be included?!!! WHAT SHOULD BE DONE!?!?!?!"

Unusual example if I may say so but then I think John is more knowing than he makes out with his amusing bumblyness. We love his mishearing things. Why just last Friday I was asked a question:

----------------------------------------

John: "Who are the Lords Spiritual? You there in the corner."

Me: "Do you mean me?"

John: "Yes"

Me: "Well the-"

John: " The Lords Spiritual are the Bishops of the Church. They sit in The House....."

----------------------------------------

Eh???

There was a fab comic moment when he was asking another student to ask a question. The student was sat more or less right in front of him and was speaking in a loud clear voice:

----------------------------------------

John: "Where do the MPs sit?"

Student: "The House of Commons"

John: "Sorry what was that?"

Student: "The House of Commons"

John: "Say again?"

Student: THE HOUSE OF COMMONS"

John: "Sorry I really cannot tell what you are saying"

Student: "THE HOUSE OF COMMONS!"

Randomer sighing quietly from the back: "The House of Commons"

John: "Did somebody say House of Commons? Thats correct!!!"

-------------------------------------

I sometimes wonder if it is all just an elaborate act. I may never know....

John also said to me in the middle of a sentence about European Parliament

"Oh I like the way you hold two pens when you write. How clever."

And then carried on.

What a legend