I am sooooooooo melloooooooow...

I have just been searching the net for info on how to hypnotise people after experimenting with Tina this afternoon. She printed some info off the net and had a go at hypnotising me. She certainly made me very relaxed but didnt really do it long enough for me to be hypnotised properly. She tried to get me to ask out Mr GSOH again! Hehe. Hopefully I will do that anyway...

Where was I? Oh yes. Well I was just on the net searching for other tips and instructions when I came across this quiz you could take to find out how susceptible to hypnosis you are. I took the quiz and got a 4 out of 5 which apparently requires high levels of creativity to be. (according to all the quizes taken on "Tickle" I am very creative which is a nice compliment :) ) Anyhoo, I saw a link saying "advanced test" and was intrigued. I clicked on it and discovered that it was a test involving listening to several audio tapes by some American celebrity hypnotist know only as "Wendi". I was a bit apprehensive at first but thought "What the hey" and did it anyway.

It was very..... interesting.

It was in four parts - the first she "put you under" then hypnotised you in to your right hand feeling tingly and warm. Although I didnt feel the warm I did feel the tingle that was a bit wierd...
The second part was to asses your visualisation skills. You had to imagine floating off to this lovely forrest and experiencing through all of the senses your "surroundings". I scored highest on this bit as I could feel the cold water of a creek on my toes and see the path that I was instructed to walk down. It was very relaxing and nice I enjoyed it.

The third part was quite revealing - it involved journeying through the "silky darkness" to a container that I had to visualise and look all the way around. I then had to look inside the box to find a special "object,person, feeling or idea" that would come from my subconscious to tell me something about my deep psyche. I pulled out a thick, gold kind of choker or necklace that I put on and found very heavy around my neck. I figured maybe it symbolises a worry or issue that is currently weighing me down and making things difficult. Perhaps I am reading too much into it but it would make sense as I have the worry of exams and the tension of Mr GSOH to contend with...

If I have done this right then my amusingly poor artists impression of "my box" should be below for you to have a ganza at.



In the final part I was hypnotised so that I couldnt open my eyes - something I initially found rather unimpressive despite the fact that it works as I have experienced that before when experimenting with hypnosis and meditation with Kat and Becky. But then this Wendi woman managed to hypnotise me into not being able to move my right arm and hand despite the fact I was moving my left hand and was staring in wonderment at my imobile right limb. Now that was interesting!

So after all that I am pretty chilled out right now after a quick juant into my subconscious and mind control!

I tried to post a message about how my new catch phrase seems to becoming "You can piss off" (at least mentally). Luckily that slightly mardy post was lost as the Blogger server had problems and refused to post it (how bout that for a sign hehe!).
Well I found myself thinking it again the other day as a particularly awkward customer came into McDonalds. She came in at 10.50am and tried to order a happy meal. I politely informed her that on a Sunday the main menu is not served until 11am. She said nothing and took a pew with her little girl and beau. She came back at 11.05 and ordered a fish finger happy meal. Unfortunately the kitchen had not got any fish ready yet and so I apologised and gave her a drink and tod her that I would bring it over as soon as it was ready. She tutted and returned to her economy sized family in one of those postures that said "bloody idiots all I want is a kids meal".

I was a little put off at this but sympathised with her that she was having a time getting something pretty simple. I kept checking with the kitchen how the fish was doing and assembled the happy meal as soon as it was ready and took it out to the woman. I said something along the lines of "I'm really sorry about your wait, thank you very much". Glancing dwon I saw her filling in one of those customer opinion surveys that nobody ever fills in. I figured she was wound a little tight and let it go.

It wasnt until the end of the day that I got out the card and took it to read in the office as I was being cashed up. She gave a score out of 6 for the service time - 1. A bit harsh but understandable from the customers point of view. She also gave a score out of six for "staff politeness and attitude" she gave me a 1! Hang on a minute! I was sickeningly nice to you and explained why there was a delay at every oint and then you talked to Lesley the lovey DA lady and you gave me and her a 1? Well piss off then! I made myself be nice to you even though you, frankly were being bloody natty with me!

She gave an explanation for her complaint on the customer comments section. She explained that she had come in at 10.50 and been "advised to wait until 11am for the main menu". So far so fair. Then she continued "returned at 11.05am and was told would have to wait another 5 minutes for fish" Well ok that is pretty frustrating but then "when told the food is served a 11am, all food should be ready for this time".

Now hang on a minute.

How exactly is it possible to continue making and serving breakfast until 10.59am and then have the entire main menu ready one minute later? If the entire main menu was to be made it would take more than 10 minutes at full capacity, by which time the first items made would have expired. Therefore we make the items in the order of their popularity, fish being the least popular. I doubt we sell 10 fish happy meals all day so the chances of somebody ordering one between 11 and 11-15am is rather slim. Needless to say she didnt hang around for me to explain this and promptly sodded off with her air head beau leaving nothing but an insulting analysis of my attmepts to please her bloody awkwardness.

Besides. I "informed her" that the breakfast menu started at 11 - something that was quite plain from the massive breakfast signs hanging above my head. Then when breakfast had ended she waited a further 5 minutes before coming to order therefore delaying her reciept of the food by 5 minutes. In effect she only had to wait 5 minutes, the rest was accounted for by her contrary nature and lack of suitable reading glasses.

Am I being the mardy one here? Maybe. But it does really annoy me when people who are coming to the biggest, silliest "restaurant" in the world come in with a face like a bashed crab. What are you doing wasting your apparently precious time by filling in petty scraps of card that nobody takes seriously? Why dont you just crack a smile and take life a bit less seriously? I mean some people think they suddenly own the company and throw a wobbly the first hiccup they meet. Yes, McDonalds aims to please their customers and provide a good service but at the end of the day, it is a company that simply provides a service that you can choose to have as it is or not at all. No amount of kicking and screaming is gonna mean a damn thing. McDonalds is probably the vest company in the world when it comes to efficiency. Every system there is is selected to be that way to please the most amount of people and work best the most time possible. There is no such thing as a flawless system so please, when you are entering a restaurant advertised as being run by a clown, dont throw a paddy and chuck 1s out of 6 at me when I am only trying to do the best I can with what there is. Life is too short love.

Ok. Rant over.

How about a joke...

hmmm

Ok how about this one straight from the oracle that seems to know everything - Wikipedia

A man walked into a pub and talked to his friend:

"I just had a divorce, lawyers are leeching bastards."

A man stood up.

"I object!"

The divorcee asked "What are you a lawyer?"

He replied... "No. I'm a leeching bastard....."