Again I feel I should write a proper post after going off on one lol.

I have had an interesting few days to say the least. I am still going to bed at stupid hours and then rising grogilly but now I have enterd a massive cannot be bothered state that is starting to alram me.

Like everybody I of course can sometimes not be bothered to do some stuff but this is something else. I usually just procrastinate and think "ah well I will do it at so and so time....." but now I am not even thinking of consequences and planning ahead, I am just not bothering to do stuff.

Take the exams on Wednesday. I ran out of time on both of them. Not badly, I had got nearly everything down I needed but I didn't write conclusions for either exams. The last one I actually got stopped in mid sentence! This has never happened to me before and is worrying me. I sat in the exam room daydreaming, sitting for minutes at a time doing nothing. I lacked that sense of urgency and importance that you usually have in exams. Perhaps my complacency has finally caught up with me...

It does worry me even though they were just resits that I could have done without but hell they were the easy ones!

I guess I know what it is like not to be able to focus like so many other people. I just sat there thinking "Yes! I can go home in an hour!" and then daydreaming about what I was going to do, oblivious to the fact that I was way behind.

I feel I should write more but it is getting too daunting....

On a lighter note, I have started doing really spontaneous and nice things. On Thursday I walked on down to school to pick up some English stuff for my exam. On the way back something just compelled me to take the long and ardous way home through the woods...

I do love Shaw Wood. It has all that magic that a wood should have: the wonder of so many living things crammed into one space, peace and quiet and most of all, a sense of mystery. There are a few paths that lead out of the woods that I cannot for the life of me work out where they go and how they possibly can. The wood is also so big that you can walk for 20 minutes find that you hit a dead end and have to go back. Very cool. Like a mini adventure....

Anyway. I dont not know why I was compelled to lengthen my walk home and cause my already saw heels to develop blisters but I went anyway. I decided that I would rest on a bench that rests by a pond at the edge of the woods overlooking a field on one side and seemingly endless trees on the other. I have come to like that spot after finding it with Tina one day when exploring. I dont think I have ever seen another soul whilst sat on that bench.... I found the bench and sat donw to read my papers I had got from school...

Before I knew it I had given up on the English and layed out on this little wooden bean of a bench, looking at the beautiful pattern of the canopy. I switched my MP3 player onto the playlist "beautiful" and listened to the most subtle, delicate and delightful song I believe I own: "Time Enough For Tears". I just lost myself in the sky and the words of the beautiful song.

#"Lets read the trees and their autumn leaves as they fall like a dress undone....."#

I had a moment of perfection when everything was beautiful. By the end of the song. It was like Andrea Corr was stood by me, speaking the final whispered words in to my ear.... "I know....Its ok....Its ok....."

I walked home in a meditative daze with a smile on my face. A beautiful moment to remember....