I feel compelled to post another blog right after my last one as I just realised that I actually have quite a bit of stuff I wanna waffle about. Hmmm, what shall I start with?

Oh yeah. I am really loving this blog. I'm loving it haha! I actually really enjoy reading some of my stuff back to myself. Ii is a little disheartening to find that I write a better blog than anything else though. Lol! I seem to have effortlessly impronted my true self and feelings on to this blog without sounding incredibly obnoxious or paranoid. Although I now kinda feel both haha! Now that is irony.... Ooooh I am really not sure now. I am thinking to myself 'hmmm, your other musings have sounded ok. Not too self obsessed, just a normal girl with a diary. But what if I am wrong? I bet I sound like a right prat now banging on about how ace I am at writing when all my stuff has been self important shite.'

I have just had one of those little thought moments when you realise something that is hard to put into words. Well. I assume everybody has those lol. The best way of putting it is..... sometimes I have a fuzzy optimistic glow inside of me when aomething pleases me. And that glow promotes an undying optimism and so belief that something will happen when it has anything from little to no chance of happening. And THAT is what drives me.

It makes so much sense! Oooooh an epiphany! I am all excited now like I have fathomed my psyche! Thank goodness it was now so I can write it down! I am well aware that this is probably of little importance or sense to you but....

There is something that I can only describe as an unnamed emotion that all things that drive me and please me set off. Its like every time it is activated a massive squirt of happy juice is realeased around my brain. I feel it when I play, listen or think about music, when I dream about anything I would wish would really happen (like banging out that mind bending solo just like Matt Bellamy on a Jackson Soloist in front of millions of people), think about my aspirations, get creative and write something, when I have one of those dreams that you never want to wake up from, when I have a really big and wonderful think about myself and my life, when I have a really insightful and revealing deep chat with a friend, whenever I achieve something I am massively proud of, when I go for a drive through the country letting my imagination run wild, when I go to a naturally magical and beuatiful place...... Wow. Just thinking about the things I love to do is setting it off! Hey. That is like a list of all the things that make me happy! Cool.

This is really going somewhere now.... but I have lost my train of thought.......oh yes.

You could call it happiness, but I don't think that is exactly what it is. It is more a feeling of endless possibility, stimulating, provoking me to do something whether it be to lose myself in imagination or go out there and achieve something. Damn I am getting so pumped up now! I wanna get out there and take on the world! At the same time it is a wonderful feeling that I don't want to fade. That is why I can have undying optimism and belief because then I can keep this emotion alive. That is why I love The Corrs.... it really brings out this feeling. Their music makes me think about intense feeling and big, sweeping open spaces....

This is exactly the feeling that I have been lacking recently and I didn't even realise! This feeling was constant when I had that big obsessional infatuation several years ago. That is why it was so intense.... Right. I know what to do now! I will do those things I listed, make myself content and ambitious and ready to go.

World. You don't know what is going to hit you! I can feel that I am gonna get back in the zone and not come out for a long time! Come on Charlotte. You can blitz it! Wooo!

Sod the rest of this post, I was only going to ramble on about work and shit like that. I have beter things to do!